ஷவரம் பண்ணிக்கரதயும் உத்தியோகத்தையும் உட்டுட்டா, ஒண்ணும் வராது நோக்கு. மனச உட்டுட்டா மகா கஷ்டம்! Life goes on...– Bhashyam Iyengar, in Hey! Ram
Friday, July 11, 2014
Staying Alive!
“The harder you desire the farther it seems to grow away from you.” And that exactly is the most superficial and colossal guise life takes to keep you going at endlessly….GENIUS!
You don't have to be a perfectionist all your life....if you are a mediocre planner trying to pull things through on time whenever and wherever, that should let you sail through decently if not exceptionally -- One of the very FEW things that make me believe there’s a bigger brain sitting out there crafting all this in his own sweet pattern! His work is more than the most complex mainframes computer invented on this earth!
And the way he gambles with it is much more challenging and incredibly intriguing than any of those slot machines that is jabbed by frenzied people at the Casinos' world over.
On those awful-bitter days,
despondency settles upon you like vestibules of white fog covering your mind as
if it’s a dark warm blanket you've been desperately waiting to crawl into, on a cold night.
In a trice, everything seems doomed to failure, you wonder if you will
ever while away the time with your friends again, you wonder if you will ever
partake in that alien concept known as a social life. You chafe at the notion
of a single rational thought, of the will to just pick up that God forbidden cellphone and call
your mother, of the simplicity of dressing nice, of the effortless intricacies
involved in just brightening up a little by washing your dull & dreary face, you wonder at your ghastly inability
to do the things you used to do and take for granted.
You feel the parasite
within you getting stronger as the awful gnawing beast refuses to go away. Suddenly
you feel dreadfully alone. But paradoxically, you tremble at the thought of
social gatherings and any form of interaction with other human beings, and you
start avoiding them like an affliction. You retreat even further into yourself
and feel the miasma of loneliness strangle your senses.
This obnoxious feeling clutches your gut so hard like an effluvia from putrescent organic matter left lying in open for ages en-route to your destination.
You realize that you
have created a vicious cycle of avoidance and paralyzing seclusion. You realize
that you are fast disappearing, disappearing into a twilight zone of your own
creation, with no possible exit looming vaguely in the distance.
It has to come to an end one day. I think you just need to shackle out of it all and calm the beast inside you with a blow so hard that it curls-up in a nook and never dares to come-out again into action. Also, do make sure to seal that savage-nook that influences your weaknesses and lack of rigidness pushing you hard every time into this eternal door of sacrilege.
I am kicking hard with my 80+ kgs of weight to stay alive! :-)
Wednesday, July 9, 2014
A Tree Full of Screeching Monkeys!
The recent visit to the RTO (DMV in the U.S.) to get a
duplicate copy of my driver's license, after losing the original, made me
wonder if I had somehow found myself in the middle of a tree full of angry,
screeching monkeys.
Yes, I say so because I spent three full hours wandering
around the RTO office, being sent from one desk to another, only to be directed
back to desks I had already visited. At some point, I started wondering if
anyone was actually going to help me for real.
The people who worked there looked upset, angry, and
perpetually agitated. Officers were yelling because someone didn't have the
right documentation or the exact rectangular slip of paper that was apparently
a sacred requirement for signing and approving forms that sat fat and smug
inside an ageing, foul-smelling file.
I refused to use the middlemen loitering around the
premises. They carried with them a revolting stench of unwashed clothes and
stale sweat, grinning through teeth stained with cigarette tar and cheap
chewing tobacco. Every now and then one of them would wander over, scratching
the side of his head and asking,
"Yenna venum meydam?"
(What do you want, Madam?)
Needless to say, I was beyond frustrated and waved them
away.
Eventually, I found myself standing in what appeared to be
the middle of the hall. Out of desperation, I clapped five times as loudly as I
could and shouted,
"Excuse me! Can one of the employees here help me
out?"
For a brief moment, there was complete silence.
A smile crept onto my face at my accomplishment...
...but it vanished almost immediately as the noise resumed
and everyone carried on exactly as before after a grand pause of approximately
two seconds.
Defeated and humiliated, I was just about ready to give up
when I heard a voice behind me.
"Good try, Madam. I think you should do it again...
this time louder and longer. Don't give up!"
So I did.
Two officers emerged from behind their desks and approached
me. One of them said,
"Hello, Lady. This is a Government Office. I don't
appreciate fun activities or inspirational speeches here. You need prior
permission from our senior official for doing so. It would be nice if you leave
this place immediately before I call the guards."
I was appalled.
I tried explaining that I had been waiting for hours without
assistance and that my little performance was simply an attempt to get
somebody's attention. In response, I received a lengthy lecture on workplace
ethics and why Government Officials should not be disturbed during their busy
working hours.
Eventually, after his painfully irrelevant sermon, he did
acknowledge my request and informed me that it would be taken care of.
I was also subtly informed that paying more than the
required amount would greatly improve the chances of my application being
processed in this lifetime. Otherwise, it could be postponed indefinitely.
By the time I walked out, I was exhausted.
I was carrying around a strange feeling that seemed to sit
somewhere between frustration, anger, helplessness... and resignation.
To think that I was once the woman who slapped a guy across
the face for misbehaving with me on public transport...
...and here I was, quietly tolerating things I knew were
wrong because arguing any further felt pointless.
I suppose that's how it happens.
Not all at once.
Just little pieces of courage surrendered here and there,
until one day you find yourself accepting hypocrisy as an unavoidable part of
life...
...the unmistakable badge of a typical middle-class, middle-aged woman.
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Love, Life, Past & Other Things!
I have been extremely rude to this one person I liked so much – Almost all the time that I can remember so far. I hated not once, not twice but in-numerous times that I almost always lost count even in the initial days. Only later to realize how much I loved and liked this person in my life and the very existence of this person in my life somehow, unknowingly changed my entire outlook about things, my perception about things in general – inclusive of very basic ones such as what is right and wrong and how badly can one right thing done in the wrong moment can get everything crash down so instantly while it took years of right things piled up against each other to build it in the first place.
Slowly there was a big personality change in me which happened without my prior consent or choice; it soon became public when the change was noticed by the ones that belonged to my very core and inner circle – precisely my family.
The depression medication is kicking in – I realize this as I see those dark bubbles crossing over my eyes in the darkness and I see a dim-lit bulb in a distant corner looking hazy in the semidarkness that clouds in my eyes (or is it my imagination/illusion?!....I could never get this part of it right… L )
Time check – 1:44 AM the digital alarm clock is blinking on my side table with the stick (“l”) on one of the “4”’s not lit up. Phew…it’s an old clock…I am more than happy with its capability to show the time, if not fully at least in sensible parts – that saves my trip to the hall to check the time in the hanging clock or my phone that I don’t like to carry with me in my bedroom. That would be the last thing I want to do when I go to sleep. Cell phone is a cell phone…people use it only when they are wide awake and not while going to sleep. I don’t set up wake-up alarms in my cell phone.
For some strange unfathomable reason I don’t like to do anything at all with my cell phone except for making and receiving calls with very occasional texting… I may have to stress on the word “very” because my count of texting goes somewhat like this…..0,2,1,0,1,1 – that’s the number of text messages I have sent in the last 6 months. All of them to my husband stating that I will be late from work and that he needn't be waiting for me for dinner.
Take a pause here to rewind back to 7-8-9 years ago when my texting speed, count and frequency was at its peak and I remember there were hours spent sending/receiving messages with 2-3 messages in a minute dancing away from my number to the other waiting to be sent (also vice versa to receive) to say the least.
Now, I don’t know what with this hatred towards texting or simply not finding the need of it.
Speaking of which “I don’t know’s” have become the most sought after answer for every random question thrown at me. There was once a time when I would serious efforts to avoid saying “I don’t know” as much as possible. I was young then…..18-23 yrs old maybe and well there was this spark – to ignite what? I don’t know – well, at least it wasn’t a devil’s workshop. There was always something to be done somewhere somehow and both I and the person I liked so much were working towards it or all of us as a bunch were up to it.
I am not sure how it all went past like a gush of cold and fresh running water….washing away all the time lived…loved…and spent in its truest sense.
The knowing, the eclipse, the discussion, the exchange of ideas, the funny language, the foul language, the f words, the b and s words, the arguments, the long talks, the long walks, the long calls and long distant calls, the clashing of the egos, the notion that was flawless, the highly interesting mundane things, the beautiful trees and lovely trips, the buses, the trains, the flights, the cars, the weddings, the nightmares and the kid……yes, it’s just one for now.
I am not sure if Paul Coelho had the same trouble deciphering the protagonist’s purpose of life in his “Alchemist” but I sure do have a biggest one of my life time right now.
What do I want from my life?
What do I want from my life?
What do I want to see myself as?
I seek solace in nothing that I do right now except when I strike the keys with sleepy eyes and painful stomach and tiring back on a Wednesday midnight or is it Thursday early morning already.
I miss my teenage. I miss my childhood. I miss all my good friends. I miss my school, college teachers. I miss everything that is nice and happy that has ever happened to me so far in my life.
Miss you all and Love you all!
I am not in need of a time machine nor am I dwelling in the past so please cut the crap!
Yo!
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
New Mom
Okay. Not so new but relatively new considering my baby just turned 6 months. He is so adorable. I love him. There's definitely nothing in this world that can be so soothing and calming than looking at the blissful little angel's smile and his peaceful sleep. I do not forget to thank god for his generosity to bestow upon me with this precious gift. I have no words to describe how hopeless I would have been without him....
All said....now I just dont understand how naughty this little cute-head can get....he is annoying some times...kicking and yelling to catch my attention....always wanting to be held..cuddled..fed..
Keeps me on the go...allllllllllllllllllllllllways....
Cry-1 = Feed
Cry-2 = Clean the soiled diaper
Cry-3 = Time to sleep
Cry-4 = Feed
Cry-5 = Clean the soiled diaper and Take Bath
Cry-6 = Time to sleep
Cry-7 = Needs to play
Cry-8 = Repeat from Cry-1 till Cry-7
and the cycle goes on and on and on.....
Ummmm......
How many days has it been since I combed my hair? last week? or was it the week before? How many months has it been since I took sometime looking into my closet to pick/choose something to wear instead of wearing whatever I could grab at one shot?
How long is the diaper bag going to be the only handbag I gonna be lugging around wherever I go?
Am I gonna shed some weight or not?
When was the last time I ate to the brim?
When was the last time I blogged? - this one's even before he was born... :)
Well...Am I complaining here? of course not....these are thoughts that crosses every (new) mother's mind....when they are living somewhere in between ground and excited state of being a first time mother of a baby!
I am glad in all these 6 months my son decided to take a long nap that rewarded me with time for relishing a glass of strawberry milkshake (homemade - I made) and a quick post on my slowly dying blog....
yeaaaaayyyyyyy....I did it....after all these months...I finally managed to do it!!!!
Okay so a little of me still alive...but kicking feebly maybe......But I am damn sure it'll gain momentum soon and things will be back to form before I knew it....
Tata....Cheers and God Bless!
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Hard Bounce
Strange is the way of life!
Just when you don't want the most bothersome thing to happen in your life... "Bang" it lands with that sinister laugh and admonishing looks and threatening voice...
Just when you are seeking that peace in your life..comes something out of the way to curb your priced possession.
I realize after the new found enthusiasm and thrill wares off with time, it's again bouncing back to an infinite phase of boredom and sluggishness.
Being on the go or not being on the go, having an exciting job or not having one, being pregnant or not being pregnant, being so expectant or not being so expectant isn't really contributing anything more to this alluring and evasive maniac in disguise.
I haven't been able to figure out the real reason behind being depressed. It just happens. And it just doesn't leave you alone. The only possible time when you are out of it is the time it takes for a ping-pong ball to hit the ground and bounce back to your hand... In that short window you probably cannot have explored much of the outside world, and even if you did it just takes as much time for you to grow out of its taste and return to where you started...all over again!
It gets inexplicable at times and insanity prevails...
I try hard to remain calm, but fail at the same point every time ....most inadvertently.
Just when you don't want the most bothersome thing to happen in your life... "Bang" it lands with that sinister laugh and admonishing looks and threatening voice...
Just when you are seeking that peace in your life..comes something out of the way to curb your priced possession.
I realize after the new found enthusiasm and thrill wares off with time, it's again bouncing back to an infinite phase of boredom and sluggishness.
Being on the go or not being on the go, having an exciting job or not having one, being pregnant or not being pregnant, being so expectant or not being so expectant isn't really contributing anything more to this alluring and evasive maniac in disguise.
I haven't been able to figure out the real reason behind being depressed. It just happens. And it just doesn't leave you alone. The only possible time when you are out of it is the time it takes for a ping-pong ball to hit the ground and bounce back to your hand... In that short window you probably cannot have explored much of the outside world, and even if you did it just takes as much time for you to grow out of its taste and return to where you started...all over again!
It gets inexplicable at times and insanity prevails...
I try hard to remain calm, but fail at the same point every time ....most inadvertently.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Extremities
Alternating between two extreme personalities has been the toughest competition to break through by far – at least for me!
It’s funny how these personalities know exactly when to swap roles with the other, on the right time at the right place. Now, I may or may not sound politically right here, but then who cares…since when sounding politically/logically/technically right had been an entry pass to the land of wicked weirdos?
It’s true that some mornings I wake to the noise of the water rushing through the small gulley pouring itself into the fresh 6X3 pit filling it slowly in the process, also taking with it the mushy mud that’s sliding from its sides...and then when I look up I see the sun shining happily at my face through the leaves of the apple tree under which the pit is formed. After days of retrospection I for nuts could never understand what it meant…it’s kind of one of those not so constant but a semi-recurring dream or nightmare that I have, in the end only to confuse me more about its possibly delirious insight or an emotional overwhelming message that has to be read between the lines [or the pit, the sunshine and the leaves of apple tree.] its like a cross word puzzle that can fit in more than one right answer both ways [Across and Up-down].
And on the other days I wake-up so happily with the sweetness of a lovely dream where I see myself totally pregnant with my little girl talking to me with her jabs and kicks from inside her womb and making me look no less than an oversized lawnmower trying to take one step at a time with a really unruly lawn to work on with my day-day activities! I glow. I shine. I spread the cheer with that bright and radiant, healthy beaming face of mine. Strangers ask about my due date. Folks at the mall check my well being. Dudes and Dudettes at the billing counter ask me if I need a hand in taking my bags to my car or if I needed some water or a drink. I feel like a divine being hopped in for a vacation on planet earth. Isn’t that a complete bliss? A wonderful feeling.
And then the next day, the swap-a-sode occurs. I mean, I get the other grossly confusing nightmare.
The obnoxious monster rearing its ugly head and venomous fangs is all set to strike at any moment, the preparedness and readiness of this marauder shackles the last nerve left in me to stand-up and fight.
Suddenly, a wave of blinding mist and fog blanks out everything and an unexpected lull falls beneath the mist upon my waiting eyes.
I rise and shine and glow…..Over to my little angel now.
It’s funny how these personalities know exactly when to swap roles with the other, on the right time at the right place. Now, I may or may not sound politically right here, but then who cares…since when sounding politically/logically/technically right had been an entry pass to the land of wicked weirdos?
It’s true that some mornings I wake to the noise of the water rushing through the small gulley pouring itself into the fresh 6X3 pit filling it slowly in the process, also taking with it the mushy mud that’s sliding from its sides...and then when I look up I see the sun shining happily at my face through the leaves of the apple tree under which the pit is formed. After days of retrospection I for nuts could never understand what it meant…it’s kind of one of those not so constant but a semi-recurring dream or nightmare that I have, in the end only to confuse me more about its possibly delirious insight or an emotional overwhelming message that has to be read between the lines [or the pit, the sunshine and the leaves of apple tree.] its like a cross word puzzle that can fit in more than one right answer both ways [Across and Up-down].
And on the other days I wake-up so happily with the sweetness of a lovely dream where I see myself totally pregnant with my little girl talking to me with her jabs and kicks from inside her womb and making me look no less than an oversized lawnmower trying to take one step at a time with a really unruly lawn to work on with my day-day activities! I glow. I shine. I spread the cheer with that bright and radiant, healthy beaming face of mine. Strangers ask about my due date. Folks at the mall check my well being. Dudes and Dudettes at the billing counter ask me if I need a hand in taking my bags to my car or if I needed some water or a drink. I feel like a divine being hopped in for a vacation on planet earth. Isn’t that a complete bliss? A wonderful feeling.
And then the next day, the swap-a-sode occurs. I mean, I get the other grossly confusing nightmare.
The obnoxious monster rearing its ugly head and venomous fangs is all set to strike at any moment, the preparedness and readiness of this marauder shackles the last nerve left in me to stand-up and fight.
Suddenly, a wave of blinding mist and fog blanks out everything and an unexpected lull falls beneath the mist upon my waiting eyes.
I rise and shine and glow…..Over to my little angel now.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Vicious Cycle?
Holy Crap!!! I'm seeing it happen... right in front of my (damned) eyes!
This very annoying experience..... the same crappity-crap sense of feeling so low and pathetic happened to me 4 years ago and I am going through this utterly-bitterly thinggy yet again....
Ha Ha... God you are a G>E>N>I>O>U>S!! Love you dude... no matter how bad you treat me with your witty-mind games..... :)
There you go..... This is what happened!
I'm talking in cryptic code again but for a good reason, because a lot of grief stems from problems which are too raw to air publicly without hurting the people involved... Disclaimers apart... writing has been cathartic, theraupatic, invigorating, stimulating, exhilarating, rejuvenating etc al.
Someone once said that your writing should never turn into an extension of yourself, and I do have a strong (not a sneaking suspicion anymore) sensation that I have already broken that rule many times over. Whether I admit it or not, it has evolved into a sanctuary that I run to, like always and like now.
I don't want self-pity because it would only worry me more, making me feel very weak and more unwitting to even make a note about that here.
I would usually hesitate to put up such a self-indulgent writing but I think I'll cut myself some slack today. If at all at one point of time I am given any authority in life to wish for something:
"I would ask for a world without any counseling/advisory/mental rehabilitation centers."
On Web terms I wish I could permanently disable that functionality for the users.
I don't need castigation, or criticism, most certainly not "pity". Just my own space and time to collect my thoughts and get back on my feet. I know I cant be alone for long... I would definitely bounce back... and I want to be fresh off the boat (come out clean) the next time I do it!
These therapeutic, invigorating pieces of words that I splatter on my parchments gives an effusive feel of fulfillment of having broken a decipherable code.
And so I am rescued (am I?) at the lowest ebb of the whole week. I received a call just as I thought I am all set to crown a spectacularly mundane week that I took out of mothballs icing it with the most dullest Monday I've ever come across in the pallid blandness of my gibberish.
I could hear, very clearly only these lines over and over again, which were gonging loudly like the huge bell of a community prayer hall!
“Ok”
“Ummm”
“Then” and
“So”
It was nice. Absolutely unbelievable and a pleasant experience.
Begging your pardon, I have a penchant for understatements.
Thanks for making my day, I spat out when I hung up and slammed shut my bedroom door to get back to my slumberland which had my life shown with bright colors and full of cheers.
(Full Stop!)
This very annoying experience..... the same crappity-crap sense of feeling so low and pathetic happened to me 4 years ago and I am going through this utterly-bitterly thinggy yet again....
Ha Ha... God you are a G>E>N>I>O>U>S!! Love you dude... no matter how bad you treat me with your witty-mind games..... :)
There you go..... This is what happened!
I'm talking in cryptic code again but for a good reason, because a lot of grief stems from problems which are too raw to air publicly without hurting the people involved... Disclaimers apart... writing has been cathartic, theraupatic, invigorating, stimulating, exhilarating, rejuvenating etc al.
Someone once said that your writing should never turn into an extension of yourself, and I do have a strong (not a sneaking suspicion anymore) sensation that I have already broken that rule many times over. Whether I admit it or not, it has evolved into a sanctuary that I run to, like always and like now.
I don't want self-pity because it would only worry me more, making me feel very weak and more unwitting to even make a note about that here.
I would usually hesitate to put up such a self-indulgent writing but I think I'll cut myself some slack today. If at all at one point of time I am given any authority in life to wish for something:
"I would ask for a world without any counseling/advisory/mental rehabilitation centers."
On Web terms I wish I could permanently disable that functionality for the users.
I don't need castigation, or criticism, most certainly not "pity". Just my own space and time to collect my thoughts and get back on my feet. I know I cant be alone for long... I would definitely bounce back... and I want to be fresh off the boat (come out clean) the next time I do it!
These therapeutic, invigorating pieces of words that I splatter on my parchments gives an effusive feel of fulfillment of having broken a decipherable code.
And so I am rescued (am I?) at the lowest ebb of the whole week. I received a call just as I thought I am all set to crown a spectacularly mundane week that I took out of mothballs icing it with the most dullest Monday I've ever come across in the pallid blandness of my gibberish.
I could hear, very clearly only these lines over and over again, which were gonging loudly like the huge bell of a community prayer hall!
“Ok”
“Ummm”
“Then” and
“So”
It was nice. Absolutely unbelievable and a pleasant experience.
Begging your pardon, I have a penchant for understatements.
Thanks for making my day, I spat out when I hung up and slammed shut my bedroom door to get back to my slumberland which had my life shown with bright colors and full of cheers.
(Full Stop!)
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Problems?
I see all around me, people with problems. For a fair good reason that includes me as well, just like everyone else who would fall under this universal set.
Problems…PROBlems….PROBLEMS….P.R.O.B.L.E.M.S!!!!
Problems of varied shape, size and bearing…it surely is a vicious circle that never come to an end. Nope – Not even close!
Work related problems, family problems, relationship problems, financial problems, the ones with your lousy and loud neighbor and the ones that you have with a jammed window scroll of your car.
There’s always something to be unhappy about. That hot-seat called “problem” in one’s heart never seems to be unoccupied or empty. Sometimes the intensity of these problems goes higher up to such an extent that it takes serious toll on your mind, body, heart and soul. And inevitably you find yourself welcoming insomnia into your life slowly but steadily.
I don’t know if there’s anyone capable enough to answer the question – “Why do we have problems in life?”
And if I am to say I learned to face problems from the problematic but I am still learning how to handle these problems that would probably make me Half-Gibran. :)
No kidding, I really am fascinated by his words when he said “I have learned silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet strange, I am ungrateful to these teachers.”
Isn’t that so true to all of us, A crisis is what leads to a new experience and a learning in turn. Doesn’t it mean that problems are in a way a medium for you to understand the way of life?
Problems are always closely associated with every little event/incident/happening in one’s day to day life.
Problems are always closely associated with every little event/incident/happening in one’s day to day life.
Running away from them is going to make you weaker and despaired keeping you as far away as possible from being Strong and Resolute.
The intensity of a problem gets real and big as a blown-up balloon when the knights of responsibility knock your doorstep at the hour of need. And that’s where most of us fail radically. I still stick to “most of us” usage here as I've heard of people who have endured, proven and shown the grit to fight life's shortcomings and sustain the lassitude and weariness it offers many a times.
Fact states; the impoverished and destitute lot have more problems than middle or high class society. It’s about survival and sustenance. But, they don’t seem to give-up on their problems easily. If they had, then the world would have had to handle a lot of deaths (of all the poor and under privileged population) or a perfect paradise where everything is just so right for everyone and no one even knows what “A problem” is.
Fact states; the impoverished and destitute lot have more problems than middle or high class society. It’s about survival and sustenance. But, they don’t seem to give-up on their problems easily. If they had, then the world would have had to handle a lot of deaths (of all the poor and under privileged population) or a perfect paradise where everything is just so right for everyone and no one even knows what “A problem” is.
If you cannot handle a day’s chores when your mother is down with sickness, how would you manage things when she’s not going to be around forever?
And that is just one domestic problem that everyone who’s unduly dependant on someone will have to face, when the bleakness of reality hits hard & purple on your face some day.
Undoubtedly, there are millions of such day-day problems that needs to be faced, absorbed and resolved with grace; not to forget that you must keep your sleeves rolled-up to face similar combat(s) every dusk and dawn.
And then obviously, there are people that don’t want to do anything with their problems, neither welcome it, nor push them away. They just sleep with them as though they are your pillows of comfort and end-up being super self-indulgent and austere about things.
These can be people who are not happy in their relationships, people forced into long distance relationship for no fault of theirs, people who are forced into divorce, people who long for love, people with financial commitments, people with burdens, people being cheated, people being forced to do what they don’t want to, people with unsupportive parents, people who are so lonely, so on and so forth.
It is a rarity of character that is found in very few people who handle crisis situations without falling apart.
Evidently the key lies in believing that “this would pass” and that things would take better turn during the course of time’s tide.
But, it’s the wait that kills many. We just don’t have that persistence many a times as we are gifted with 6th sense and we humans believe only in the happy format of the life. One exceptional or erroneous scenario “boom” we go losing it all…
Even smallest act leading to an event that ends up being a sweet memory counts during the time of crisis, to collect yourself and lead you with determination and willpower.
It counts for the fact that someone cares about you…
It counts for the fact that someone down there needs you..
It counts for the fact that someone down there trusts you..
And it definitely counts for the fact that someone down there loves you!
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Spill the Beans
In a form of social organization in which Man is the supreme authority in the family and descendants are strictly reckoned in the male lines alone, hailing from places where men always had the authority over women and children of the family, you can’t expect any better than a right-winger to be countering on your arguments of girls taking to modernism. By modernism one need not necessarily mean taking to western-ways in maintaining a lifestyle and personality; but it could precisely be just about being themselves in spewing out profanities when they are angered or roused. I have always been sassy, slightly irreverent and fearless in making fun of everyone, even if it means in a little harsher way, including myself. Of course, that doesn’t make me a loathsome deriding pervert of the worst order, not even close!
And this is not necessarily because I am actively keeping my radars on to display my witticism to the general public, but it’s also a way of identifying myself in a big crowd or something like a Unique Selling Point that I have to relate to the “real me”.
Now, after having lived for quite sometime in this backdrop, a strange melodramatic question pops inside my head…. “Am I tired of this compulsive audacity?”
Of course, with all my consciousness including all those last-minute-ditch-efforts
Well, No way… not at all, I would rather say pretty loud, sound and clear that,
"I never seek confrontation on my own, but when it comes I won't shy away from it."
Honestly speaking, in some way or the other, most of us don’t welcome confrontation with a happy face. And I am no God here, nor do I beg to differ! :-)
This could probably be one of the reasons I creep under my sheets and start jabbing away endlessly at my keyboard. Or do I?
Although writing is therapeutic for I am most of the times so very boorish about the columns on my blog, I do feel that it’s an act of amplifying my voice to an extent of exclusiveness of its own kind.
I really don’t care about my target audience here. I don’t even want to be heard.
All I want is the right to express, if I may say so – Just so you know – Mr.Bugger!
I don't remember anyone suggesting profanities are purely gender specific in some strange and twisted uncomprehensive manner to be uttered & muttered only in the mouths of the
MALE COMMUNITY!!!.........
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Why "HER" ?
I am surprised how one can so easily get on to a total-surrender mode with another without having any expectations in return.
Being a feminist this thought somehow bothered me to a great extent. For someone that believes that things work as per Newton’s third law viz,
“Every Action Must Have An Equal and Opposite Reaction.”
An Absolute-Surrenderundum seems to be a perfect place to be…….
“No Sire! Not me!”
I don’t venture into one’s private zone unless I am forced to do so on exceptional scenarios that would go something like those peeping-toms bad-mouthing my personal and private life for some reason or the other.
Yes, like all other super-hyper-reactive creatures on this planet earth, I get instigated too, when such prying eyes keep snooping about my life with their probing ears and intrusively long nose that keeps dangling and sniffing about for spicy and juicy hot gossips of someone’s personal life or for that matter mine. Isn’t that an absolutely terrific thing to do for these insolent souls! So very MATURE!
But trust me when I say there are such creatures that scythes, gnaws , sucks all the juice out of this small mole of an useless information in an effort to construct mountain out of it, will even store the residual crap in the refrigerator for future use.
Anyways, coming back to the capitulation mode, speaking of which always reminds me that we are in the 21st century and I always thought this was not expected of anyone in this latest stage of a multi-civilization eras that man has come-across so far!
Phew…. Pretty sad that even after ages of “Sathi” being eradicated, we still see male species egg-on the females to adhere to and abide by the blind sighted (and in a way unwritten too) laws that loosely relates to the ancient past of the “Sathi” days.
What troubles me the most is the female species being demeaned to such an extent that as if their mere existence is an unacceptable crime or similar such.
That is completely ridiculous! What these deriding morons fail to understand is, the raison d'être behind their male-chauvinistic-piggish behavior today wouldn’t have been possible if not for a FEMALE species that engulfed all the pains and let him crawl in this wide world. I am seething with anger that my words are failing here, hence I am no more expressive.
Being a feminist this thought somehow bothered me to a great extent. For someone that believes that things work as per Newton’s third law viz,
“Every Action Must Have An Equal and Opposite Reaction.”
An Absolute-Surrenderundum seems to be a perfect place to be…….
“No Sire! Not me!”
I don’t venture into one’s private zone unless I am forced to do so on exceptional scenarios that would go something like those peeping-toms bad-mouthing my personal and private life for some reason or the other.
Yes, like all other super-hyper-reactive creatures on this planet earth, I get instigated too, when such prying eyes keep snooping about my life with their probing ears and intrusively long nose that keeps dangling and sniffing about for spicy and juicy hot gossips of someone’s personal life or for that matter mine. Isn’t that an absolutely terrific thing to do for these insolent souls! So very MATURE!
But trust me when I say there are such creatures that scythes, gnaws , sucks all the juice out of this small mole of an useless information in an effort to construct mountain out of it, will even store the residual crap in the refrigerator for future use.
Anyways, coming back to the capitulation mode, speaking of which always reminds me that we are in the 21st century and I always thought this was not expected of anyone in this latest stage of a multi-civilization eras that man has come-across so far!
Phew…. Pretty sad that even after ages of “Sathi” being eradicated, we still see male species egg-on the females to adhere to and abide by the blind sighted (and in a way unwritten too) laws that loosely relates to the ancient past of the “Sathi” days.
What troubles me the most is the female species being demeaned to such an extent that as if their mere existence is an unacceptable crime or similar such.
That is completely ridiculous! What these deriding morons fail to understand is, the raison d'être behind their male-chauvinistic-piggish behavior today wouldn’t have been possible if not for a FEMALE species that engulfed all the pains and let him crawl in this wide world. I am seething with anger that my words are failing here, hence I am no more expressive.
Monday, August 10, 2009
What Lies Beneath...?
“What??”
She squeaked with her voice sounding a wee bit more shrilly than she had wanted it to be.
When he didn’t respond and continued to stare at her fingers deftly curling the ends of her long hair to form cute looking short ringlets and by then she had done with a half-a-dozen tufts of hair shaping up into ringlets bouncing on her chest already.
Noticing his long gaze, she stopped curling up the ends of hair and looked at him and asked “Heyyyyyyyyyyyy, what are you staring at????”
No response.
She moved, got-up to a sitting position from the floor, with her long hair brushing his
out-stretched hand and the ringlets she just created getting caressed while running through his fingers.
He continued his unperturbed gaze at the cute ringlets that bounced back to shape after his touch and rested neatly against her white breasts.
A little annoyed she pushed his left hand away that was resting on his thighs, on a one-sided lie-down posture he was in. That had the desired effect and he looked up at her and said,
“How do you do that?”
Puzzled she asked “Do what? Pushing your hand down? ”
“No, That…” he said pointing to one of those ringlets that was dancing right in between her forearms which formed an inverted “V” shape as she had leaned forward to cup her palms and rest her sharp, pointed chin of her oval face in them.
She bent down slightly to see what exactly he was pointing to and still unbelievingly picked up the tufts of her curly hair and asked doubtfully “This one?”
And he nodded.
“Oh, I er.. don’t know.. I just have been used to doing it since childhood, I like it curled up like that…I thought it looked good on me… don’t you think so?”
He replied “Ya, I sure do think so, it is good, I was just wondering at the loveliness of those beautiful curls at the end of your long hair which is the first thing that I liked in you!”
She blushed for less than few seconds, and asked “oh yeah?”
He noticed her short blush and smiled at her admiringly and said “Yeah, Yeah!”
She rolled over and rested her head on his waistline and started curling the ends of hair at where she had left them when she got up from the floor to grab his attention a while back.
This time he offered “Can I try that once, if you don’t mind?”
She laughed…. “Whoaaaaaaaa…… what???”
He flustered and asked again “I asked, if I can try curling-up your hair like what you are doing right now?”
She laughed once again but stopped short when she noticed that, he didn’t get what was going on.
So with both her hands put-up in front of her in a push-out gesture, she controlled herself from laughing again and said “okay, okay…..I am not going to laugh this time, I promise…..1,2,3….there you go… no more giggle-pots”
“So, Mr.X since when did you start getting so formal with me, like “Mind if I use your loo?” “I beg your pardon” “Could you please come again” “May I have a cup of coffee” bla bla bla…….. so you are playing Mr.Formal today eh?”
“Well, my wife has this strange aversion, I do not exactly know the root cause of it, cos of which she wouldn’t let me touch her hair and it always stays a short pony tied behind, all the time….um.. And so I thought its manners to ask before I did something that displeases a lady….I wouldn’t want to see the lady I like to be unhappy ”
“Well, I am not your wife!” said she.
“Ya.. Um.. I know that… and um.. I’m sorry” said he.
There was suddenly an unbearable silence that invaded the space between both.
He was the first to break it.
“So, I was saying that I was quite fascinated by your long hair, which is the first thing I like in my woman or for that matter any woman”
She raised a brow and tilted her head to sideways and looked at him “oh wait, now should I get offended for the usage of “any woman” that quickly followed your “my woman”? ”
Without waiting for him to answer she bounced off with one more question
“So, What am I? “Your woman” or “Any woman”? ”
Again without waiting for his answer she winked at him and said “tough question eh?”
Now he grabbed her by her arms and pulled her up so he could face her with their eyes at level and said,
“Hold it lady, will ya?.... One question at a time… I am not in my teens; I am more than a decade past that age, so I can’t possibly go slam-bam like you!”
He lifted her chin and held her face in his hands and said…. “Here are the answers to your rapid-fire questions ma’am, One - you shouldn’t get offended for the usage of “any woman” coz it was an objective reference. Two - although I cannot claim rights for you being my woman totally, like how a cover claims its association with a book from the first to the last page, I would wish and love you to be my woman any-day excepting this incarnation and Thirdly, I don’t think it was a tough question cos, there I just answered it!”
“Ahhhh, that wasn’t very neat, and a tad bit clichéd too!” She remarked.
“Umm-Hmm” he sang thoughtfully…. “So, what now lady? Crucifixion follows?
She looked deep into his eyes and paused….
He looked back at her and hummed “I’m waiting……waiting…waitin…wait…”
She let out a short laugh and said “Well, Well. All bets are off. So, what happens when lust and desire collide with marriage and power?”
He almost instantly replied “Creates a Male-Prostitute”.
She was shocked and asked unbelievably “A what?”
“Oh.. I didn’t know you had a hearing ailment… I said my best bet for the outcome of such a situation is the creation or formation of a “Male Prostitute”… am I loud, sound and clear enough now?”
She replied thoughtfully, I don’t why but I am reminded of this quote by Andre Malraux ---
“The greatest mystery is not that we have been flung at random between the profusion of matter and of the stars, but that within this prison we can draw from ourselves images powerful enough to deny our nothingness.”
Silence prevalied for a long time after that......
Monday, May 18, 2009
Recession Hits?
Scene A:
I drive my car in to the parking lot of the office and see that most of it is already occupied, when I was about to take a reverse gear and head to Parking Zone B to park my vehicle there, I find the security guard rushing over to tell me,
“Sir, yours is only an Alto, there’s a 6 and a half feet gap at the end of this aisle, your car will need only 6 feet Sir.. hehe…so you can park it there araamse…plus from today on, the Parking Zone B is only for big cars like BMW, Audi, Sonata, Benz…”.
I was shocked and taken aback at this discrimination and decided to bring my two-wheeler from the next day on…
Is this one of those unexpected outcomes of recession?
Scene B:
I enter the rest room this morning, to my surprise was taken aback with the way the loo was highly down-at-heel and unkempt. I muster my guts and proceed further to open the first tap…. “No Water” …..move on… open the second one…. “No Water”…..move on once again to open the third one.. “No water”…..frustrated…I try the last one… “Swhsssssssssssssssssssssswwkkkkkk” …..A splash of turbid reddish-brown water sprays hard on the basin leaving its remains on my face and on my formal shirt. I curse the idea of washing my face first thing in the morning after entering office and step-out dejectedly.
Is this one of those unexpected outcomes of recession?
Scene C:
I swipe-in and come inside my bay…. It’s entirely dark at 9.30am in the morning. I can hear the ‘tik-tak-tik’ of the keyboard strokes though… I stare hard to see a couple of employees already working in the darkest corners of the bay without even bothering to have the lights on. A little annoyed, I walk-up to the switchboard and flip the lights on, couple of them go – ‘blink-blink-blink’ but fail to rest, one of the employees (without lifting his head from the screen that he was lifelessly staring into) says “It’s better to work without them instead of that non-stop flickering bothering your eyes while you are working, they haven’t mended this for quite sometime now….” Shocked…I turn the lights off and walk back to my desk.
Is this one of those unexpected outcomes of recession?
Scene D:
Later in the day, I get a call from Credit-Card female-rep asking me to apply for a Gold Credit Card. I agree and ask for terms and conditions, she says, “5 months of salary slip, proof of possession of two-wheeler and four wheeler, proof of possession of a own house, copy of an existing Credit Card from the different bank that I hold, Govt. of India recognized TWO photo identity proofs (either driving license & Passport, voter id and Passport, or Pan card and Passport)… if you don’t have a passport then, we may need to check if you are eligible for getting a Credit Card or not.” I was shocked and ask her why so many document proofs are required & she says, “Yes Sir, the rules are changed now as Global Market is down its not very easy to know who’s still working (especially in the IT Sector) and who is not….Please provide all the needful Sir, when my rep meets you tomorrow sharp at 2pm, if you don’t have any documents then please be informed that we would reject your processing.” And I hear a “Beep….Beep…Beep” at the other end of the phone line before I am even done reeling from the shock.
Is this one of those unexpected outcomes of recession?
Scene E:-
As my office is in the 7th floor of the building, elevator becomes mandatory for many people like me. Like all other days, I finished my work and stepped into the elevator and pressed the “0” button. After stuffing the books that I had take from library, into my backpack, which could have taken about 3-4mins time, I looked to see the floor indicator on the elevator still standing at the 7th floor. Shocked, I pressed the “0” button couple more times – Stand-Still! Nothing happens…..Panicked I step out of the elevator only to see a sign-board written in a very small font and hanging at the far-end of the elevator doors, that read :
“Elevators will not be available after 5pm and before 8am, Please use steps, as we are facilitating fitness for associates by going Green during the off hours of work and also ensuring comfort for associates to reach their desk quickly during the working hours!”
Is this one of those unexpected outcomes of recession?
Scene F:-
In the evening, I go to a restaurant, for having my dinner and place my order for a “Masala Dosa”. The Sambar is overburnt and the chutney has a foul smell and the Dosa is undercooked. I call the waiter and ask him to check the stuff he had got me. Without taking a second look at the Dosa he replies “Sir, its 10pm in the night and for 35rs these days what more do you expect? If you don’t like it; you can pay and leave as you have already been billed for this item”. I was speechless, to satiate the growling stomach and lack of cash in the wallet, to try out elsewhere, I bit into the bitter taste that had formed in my mouth and chewed-on the so called “Masala Dosa”.
Is this one of those unexpected outcomes of recession?
Will this madness ever end?????????????? - Are you entitled to ask that question, that too with so many “?” marks?
Oh, I need a break from this!!!! - You sure? Cos, you are gonna be sacked!
Can I venture into other fields like Agriculture, Running a Garage, Real Estate, Mini Restaurant, Chaat Bhandar??? – ohhh, so you are actually filthy RICH…. then what on earth made you to be an IT Professional?
I drive my car in to the parking lot of the office and see that most of it is already occupied, when I was about to take a reverse gear and head to Parking Zone B to park my vehicle there, I find the security guard rushing over to tell me,
“Sir, yours is only an Alto, there’s a 6 and a half feet gap at the end of this aisle, your car will need only 6 feet Sir.. hehe…so you can park it there araamse…plus from today on, the Parking Zone B is only for big cars like BMW, Audi, Sonata, Benz…”.
I was shocked and taken aback at this discrimination and decided to bring my two-wheeler from the next day on…
Is this one of those unexpected outcomes of recession?
Scene B:
I enter the rest room this morning, to my surprise was taken aback with the way the loo was highly down-at-heel and unkempt. I muster my guts and proceed further to open the first tap…. “No Water” …..move on… open the second one…. “No Water”…..move on once again to open the third one.. “No water”…..frustrated…I try the last one… “Swhsssssssssssssssssssssswwkkkkkk” …..A splash of turbid reddish-brown water sprays hard on the basin leaving its remains on my face and on my formal shirt. I curse the idea of washing my face first thing in the morning after entering office and step-out dejectedly.
Is this one of those unexpected outcomes of recession?
Scene C:
I swipe-in and come inside my bay…. It’s entirely dark at 9.30am in the morning. I can hear the ‘tik-tak-tik’ of the keyboard strokes though… I stare hard to see a couple of employees already working in the darkest corners of the bay without even bothering to have the lights on. A little annoyed, I walk-up to the switchboard and flip the lights on, couple of them go – ‘blink-blink-blink’ but fail to rest, one of the employees (without lifting his head from the screen that he was lifelessly staring into) says “It’s better to work without them instead of that non-stop flickering bothering your eyes while you are working, they haven’t mended this for quite sometime now….” Shocked…I turn the lights off and walk back to my desk.
Is this one of those unexpected outcomes of recession?
Scene D:
Later in the day, I get a call from Credit-Card female-rep asking me to apply for a Gold Credit Card. I agree and ask for terms and conditions, she says, “5 months of salary slip, proof of possession of two-wheeler and four wheeler, proof of possession of a own house, copy of an existing Credit Card from the different bank that I hold, Govt. of India recognized TWO photo identity proofs (either driving license & Passport, voter id and Passport, or Pan card and Passport)… if you don’t have a passport then, we may need to check if you are eligible for getting a Credit Card or not.” I was shocked and ask her why so many document proofs are required & she says, “Yes Sir, the rules are changed now as Global Market is down its not very easy to know who’s still working (especially in the IT Sector) and who is not….Please provide all the needful Sir, when my rep meets you tomorrow sharp at 2pm, if you don’t have any documents then please be informed that we would reject your processing.” And I hear a “Beep….Beep…Beep” at the other end of the phone line before I am even done reeling from the shock.
Is this one of those unexpected outcomes of recession?
Scene E:-
As my office is in the 7th floor of the building, elevator becomes mandatory for many people like me. Like all other days, I finished my work and stepped into the elevator and pressed the “0” button. After stuffing the books that I had take from library, into my backpack, which could have taken about 3-4mins time, I looked to see the floor indicator on the elevator still standing at the 7th floor. Shocked, I pressed the “0” button couple more times – Stand-Still! Nothing happens…..Panicked I step out of the elevator only to see a sign-board written in a very small font and hanging at the far-end of the elevator doors, that read :
“Elevators will not be available after 5pm and before 8am, Please use steps, as we are facilitating fitness for associates by going Green during the off hours of work and also ensuring comfort for associates to reach their desk quickly during the working hours!”
Is this one of those unexpected outcomes of recession?
Scene F:-
In the evening, I go to a restaurant, for having my dinner and place my order for a “Masala Dosa”. The Sambar is overburnt and the chutney has a foul smell and the Dosa is undercooked. I call the waiter and ask him to check the stuff he had got me. Without taking a second look at the Dosa he replies “Sir, its 10pm in the night and for 35rs these days what more do you expect? If you don’t like it; you can pay and leave as you have already been billed for this item”. I was speechless, to satiate the growling stomach and lack of cash in the wallet, to try out elsewhere, I bit into the bitter taste that had formed in my mouth and chewed-on the so called “Masala Dosa”.
Is this one of those unexpected outcomes of recession?
Will this madness ever end?????????????? - Are you entitled to ask that question, that too with so many “?” marks?
Oh, I need a break from this!!!! - You sure? Cos, you are gonna be sacked!
Can I venture into other fields like Agriculture, Running a Garage, Real Estate, Mini Restaurant, Chaat Bhandar??? – ohhh, so you are actually filthy RICH…. then what on earth made you to be an IT Professional?
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Story of a Farmer and The Old Mule!
Have you heard that parable about a farmer who had an old mule?
Well, it goes something like this…………….
The mule fell into the farmer's well. The farmer heard the mule ‘braying' or whatever mules do when they fall into wells. After assessing the situation, the farmer sympathised with the mule. However, but decided that neither the mule nor the well was worth the trouble of keeping them with him. Instead, he called his neighbours and told them about the mule and the well. Once the neighbours came, he took their help in hauling dirt, sand & debris to bury the old mule in the well and put him out of his misery.
Initially, the old mule was hysterical. But as the farmer and his neighbours continued shovelling and the dirt hit his back...a thought struck him. It suddenly dawned on him that every time a shovel load of dirt landed on his back..."he should shake it off and step up". This he did, blow after blow.
"Shake it off and step up...shake it off and step up...shake it off and step up!"
He repeated to encourage himself. No matter how painful the blows or distressing the situation, the old mule fought ‘panic’ and just kept right on shaking it off and stepping it up.
It wasn't long before the old mule, battered and exhausted, stepped off triumphantly over the wall of that well. What seemed like it would bury him actually had bestowed god’s blessings on him to strive, fight-back and survive!...All because of the manner in which he handled his adversity.
That's life. If we face our problems and respond to them positively, and refuse to give in to panic, bitterness, or self-pity...The adversities that come along to bury us usually have within them the potential to benefit and bless us!
Always remember that duty-faith-prayer-hope, forgiveness and praise ... are excellent ways to shake-it-off and-step out of the wells in which we find ourselves in.
Well, it goes something like this…………….
The mule fell into the farmer's well. The farmer heard the mule ‘braying' or whatever mules do when they fall into wells. After assessing the situation, the farmer sympathised with the mule. However, but decided that neither the mule nor the well was worth the trouble of keeping them with him. Instead, he called his neighbours and told them about the mule and the well. Once the neighbours came, he took their help in hauling dirt, sand & debris to bury the old mule in the well and put him out of his misery.
Initially, the old mule was hysterical. But as the farmer and his neighbours continued shovelling and the dirt hit his back...a thought struck him. It suddenly dawned on him that every time a shovel load of dirt landed on his back..."he should shake it off and step up". This he did, blow after blow.
"Shake it off and step up...shake it off and step up...shake it off and step up!"
He repeated to encourage himself. No matter how painful the blows or distressing the situation, the old mule fought ‘panic’ and just kept right on shaking it off and stepping it up.
It wasn't long before the old mule, battered and exhausted, stepped off triumphantly over the wall of that well. What seemed like it would bury him actually had bestowed god’s blessings on him to strive, fight-back and survive!...All because of the manner in which he handled his adversity.
That's life. If we face our problems and respond to them positively, and refuse to give in to panic, bitterness, or self-pity...The adversities that come along to bury us usually have within them the potential to benefit and bless us!
Always remember that duty-faith-prayer-hope, forgiveness and praise ... are excellent ways to shake-it-off and-step out of the wells in which we find ourselves in.
The Art o Saying "NO"
If you are one of those, that have difficulties in expressing a negative reply or a rejection to a group or single person, Welcome Aboard! :=)
I have tried a set of small, but useful experiments in my life and it had turned fruitful, on 98/100 situations. Well, on the other two occasions I didn't even give it a try! :=) (Meaning, I just gave in to it!)
As most people think, Saying ‘No’ is not just an art, but is also an etiquette. And it is also important how you say it. You should be able to deny or reject politely without hurting the person at whom your refusal is aimed. You may wonder why this is important. Well, put yourself in the other person’s shoes (let's forget the sizes here ;-) ) and think, what would you prefer – a rude refusal or a polite and courteous one? Undoubtedly the latter.
As it has been said – “Do unto other what you would have others do unto you.”
Be courteous is the protocol to follow. The reasons for your refusals may vary in a sizeable manner from being a minuscle ripple effect as that of a small stone thrown in a pond to an adverse tsunami effect caused by natural calamity in the Oceans. Ideally, you must adapt to the situation and act accordingly. However, it is essential to keep the basic governing rule the same – be courteous. There is no need to alter your stand if you are justified in refusing. If you are convinced of your justifications, be firm in your refusal but try not to hurt a fellow human being with harsh words.... Absolutely, but for how long before you loose control of your temperament, when the other person turns completely deaf ears to you and to top it all, is tossing out an indifferent stance towards you. This is the most important point, where in all of us tend to tremble being at the threshold of our temper check...end result - slash out with harsh words, throw out things, shout, scream out, yell at the top of your vioce, give up and walk away quietly....How many of us actually have been at the best of our cool to handle these situations with ease?
How many of us actually know, how to deal with people, especially when it comes to a denial being put out to them in a not-so hurtful manner?
How many of us have actually been successful in saying a "No" without hurting the other person?
Take this situation, for example. Sue had applied for a job interview and got her call fixed on a monday. Unfortunately, she meets with an accident over the weekend and is unable to attend this interview call. She calls up the HR of the organization to inform that she wouldnt be able to make it to the call as scheduled.
The HR person of the organization, being an elderly lady, took advantage of Sue's young age and responded back rudely. “Do you not have sense? What kind of accident can have you make you a phone call to us to inform but not come and appear for the same? If you were really not interested in applying for this job, then you shouldn't have, why do younger generation of these days have such a reckless attitude towards everything in life, I don't understand it. Just because you met with an accident is not going to make you invalid I am sure, why don't you let someone accompany you and attend the interview personally as planned?
I know you won't do that, as this was all a silly game that people like you love to play, fix an appointment and keep cancelling it as if we are here to entertain you all your lives.
You are behaving like uncouth villagers and not like the educated people."
Sue was very hurt and didn't have words to say and apologized over and over... All of it in vain as call was disconnected soon.
Problem here is that, Sue's recent bereavement was made out to be a matter of no consequence, which would have hurt her terribly. Moreover, the after-effects of an unpleasant encounter leave bitter feelings in their wake for everyone.
Monitor your thoughts and your words, as words once said cannot be taken back and unpleasant memories last long. We humans are essentially tender and sensitive, regardless of the tough exterior that many of us exhibit. And words are the sharpest weapons that can pierce the toughest exterior and cause an unseen wound that would take a long time to heal. It is thus extremely essential that the words that we utter should not cause harm to the sensitivity of another person. And it is not very difficult to watch your words either. The words we utter are a direct manifestation of the thoughts teeming in our mind. So it is your thoughts that you have to steer on the right course.
When faced with the task of conveying an unpleasant message of refusal, press the pause button, collect your thoughts, let compassion for the other govern your thoughts but not alter your stand. Now when you speak, your words will reflect the compassion you feel even while you are communicating a negative message. ............. Isn't it pretty difficult for a real life scenario? Sure is.....but not when you have practised it!
Refusal when implied in gentle words falls easy on the ears and the other person will be able to see your point of view. Always remember, the person will be disappointed on hearing a refusal as is, do not compound his distress by being rude and impolite, cos what you give is what you get, remember Nicolaus Copernicus who figured ages ago that the Earth has a planetary motion to go around the Sun....! (Doesn't it mean, what goes-around comes-around too? ;-) )
I have tried a set of small, but useful experiments in my life and it had turned fruitful, on 98/100 situations. Well, on the other two occasions I didn't even give it a try! :=) (Meaning, I just gave in to it!)
As most people think, Saying ‘No’ is not just an art, but is also an etiquette. And it is also important how you say it. You should be able to deny or reject politely without hurting the person at whom your refusal is aimed. You may wonder why this is important. Well, put yourself in the other person’s shoes (let's forget the sizes here ;-) ) and think, what would you prefer – a rude refusal or a polite and courteous one? Undoubtedly the latter.
As it has been said – “Do unto other what you would have others do unto you.”
Be courteous is the protocol to follow. The reasons for your refusals may vary in a sizeable manner from being a minuscle ripple effect as that of a small stone thrown in a pond to an adverse tsunami effect caused by natural calamity in the Oceans. Ideally, you must adapt to the situation and act accordingly. However, it is essential to keep the basic governing rule the same – be courteous. There is no need to alter your stand if you are justified in refusing. If you are convinced of your justifications, be firm in your refusal but try not to hurt a fellow human being with harsh words.... Absolutely, but for how long before you loose control of your temperament, when the other person turns completely deaf ears to you and to top it all, is tossing out an indifferent stance towards you. This is the most important point, where in all of us tend to tremble being at the threshold of our temper check...end result - slash out with harsh words, throw out things, shout, scream out, yell at the top of your vioce, give up and walk away quietly....How many of us actually have been at the best of our cool to handle these situations with ease?
How many of us actually know, how to deal with people, especially when it comes to a denial being put out to them in a not-so hurtful manner?
How many of us have actually been successful in saying a "No" without hurting the other person?
Take this situation, for example. Sue had applied for a job interview and got her call fixed on a monday. Unfortunately, she meets with an accident over the weekend and is unable to attend this interview call. She calls up the HR of the organization to inform that she wouldnt be able to make it to the call as scheduled.
The HR person of the organization, being an elderly lady, took advantage of Sue's young age and responded back rudely. “Do you not have sense? What kind of accident can have you make you a phone call to us to inform but not come and appear for the same? If you were really not interested in applying for this job, then you shouldn't have, why do younger generation of these days have such a reckless attitude towards everything in life, I don't understand it. Just because you met with an accident is not going to make you invalid I am sure, why don't you let someone accompany you and attend the interview personally as planned?
I know you won't do that, as this was all a silly game that people like you love to play, fix an appointment and keep cancelling it as if we are here to entertain you all your lives.
You are behaving like uncouth villagers and not like the educated people."
Sue was very hurt and didn't have words to say and apologized over and over... All of it in vain as call was disconnected soon.
Problem here is that, Sue's recent bereavement was made out to be a matter of no consequence, which would have hurt her terribly. Moreover, the after-effects of an unpleasant encounter leave bitter feelings in their wake for everyone.
Monitor your thoughts and your words, as words once said cannot be taken back and unpleasant memories last long. We humans are essentially tender and sensitive, regardless of the tough exterior that many of us exhibit. And words are the sharpest weapons that can pierce the toughest exterior and cause an unseen wound that would take a long time to heal. It is thus extremely essential that the words that we utter should not cause harm to the sensitivity of another person. And it is not very difficult to watch your words either. The words we utter are a direct manifestation of the thoughts teeming in our mind. So it is your thoughts that you have to steer on the right course.
When faced with the task of conveying an unpleasant message of refusal, press the pause button, collect your thoughts, let compassion for the other govern your thoughts but not alter your stand. Now when you speak, your words will reflect the compassion you feel even while you are communicating a negative message. ............. Isn't it pretty difficult for a real life scenario? Sure is.....but not when you have practised it!
Refusal when implied in gentle words falls easy on the ears and the other person will be able to see your point of view. Always remember, the person will be disappointed on hearing a refusal as is, do not compound his distress by being rude and impolite, cos what you give is what you get, remember Nicolaus Copernicus who figured ages ago that the Earth has a planetary motion to go around the Sun....! (Doesn't it mean, what goes-around comes-around too? ;-) )
Monday, April 6, 2009
Curse?
“I was once again hit by the maddening curse that has reared its ugly head again and, considering all my pain and suffering, how it makes me laugh hysterically, but then this girl in her rags at the traffic signal surely enough beats me to it....savor me!
damn you, damn you, for sucking my fun away...the dragon inside my head wants to unleash roaring and spitting out fire relentlessly - no voice of soul...no plea's of the heart seem to be having an effect on this predator who has invaded my brain neurons inch by inch...the marauder had turned his deaf ears to my appeals and was headstrong in burning me to ashes. I was helpless, I find all doors ahead of me closed, I have no one around to help me out of this mad abduction by a seething, furious demon.”
“Drrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr”
I snap-shut the blaring alarm without willing to even get my head out of the covers.
This is probably the 8th time I am having the same dream, which stopped abruptly at the same place on all 8 times when I had it.
I am now trying to figure out what it means. What could it possibly mean to the aggravating emptiness in my life of late and the lack of happiness as a whole, losing the touch of a fulfillment factor to serve the purpose of life?
There’s everything but there’s nothing.
So many things and so little happiness.
It’s like you are in an ocean and are looking for purified/clean water to drink!
damn you, damn you, for sucking my fun away...the dragon inside my head wants to unleash roaring and spitting out fire relentlessly - no voice of soul...no plea's of the heart seem to be having an effect on this predator who has invaded my brain neurons inch by inch...the marauder had turned his deaf ears to my appeals and was headstrong in burning me to ashes. I was helpless, I find all doors ahead of me closed, I have no one around to help me out of this mad abduction by a seething, furious demon.”
“Drrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr”
I snap-shut the blaring alarm without willing to even get my head out of the covers.
This is probably the 8th time I am having the same dream, which stopped abruptly at the same place on all 8 times when I had it.
I am now trying to figure out what it means. What could it possibly mean to the aggravating emptiness in my life of late and the lack of happiness as a whole, losing the touch of a fulfillment factor to serve the purpose of life?
There’s everything but there’s nothing.
So many things and so little happiness.
It’s like you are in an ocean and are looking for purified/clean water to drink!
Double-Salaried!!!
The month of September-08 had been eventful for me. Both in professional and personal terms. Personally because end of September meant just two more months left with me before I turn into a Missus from a Miss status. But then life was never always the same with whatever people had to do in their profession. Such is the providence of life.
Dohh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So much for a momentary cloud-nine experience :-P
On a not so emotional note, and on a lighter vein, when I happened to check my salary credited for this month online, I was shocked to see my salary credited twice in to my account. Check this snapshot below, for those that dont believe my words and have that smug smile on their face reading this.......
For a crazy second, the monster inside my head let out that villainous laugh, elated with the site of the extra “$$$$” materialized into my otherwise unexciting and lean salary account.
Just when I was getting myself soaking with the momentary visual pleasure, to my utter disbelief, I saw the page getting reloaded/refreshed on its own only to show the new transaction item as a Debit of the extra salary that was mistakenly credited for the second time into my account!
Just when I was getting myself soaking with the momentary visual pleasure, to my utter disbelief, I saw the page getting reloaded/refreshed on its own only to show the new transaction item as a Debit of the extra salary that was mistakenly credited for the second time into my account!
Dohh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So much for a momentary cloud-nine experience :-P
Sunday, April 5, 2009
How Do You Relate To Your Partner?
- Sometimes you need to make a lot of friends and influence or attract people with your spontaneous indulgence of quick wits and on-the-fly-street-smartness.
Other times, you should just test drive them and push their buttons, to see their real performance.
The art of irritation can, in fact, be just as valuable as the art of persuasion. How so? Let’s start with the problem: people are good liars and actors…but remember, only up to a point where in they have reached the saturation point, where-in the elasticity gives-up snapping at your face smugly.
What if it were possible to fast-forward relationships, whether with new friends, business partners, or romances?
What if in a mad pace life’s frames just roll by to get past the celebratory fascia of minutiae and let us see their true tendencies underneath all those bitter-sweety or sweet-poisony relationships?
I’ve been experimenting with methods of “Tearing the veil apart” or “Ripping the mask off” as you might say, and after all those back-breaking, mind-numbing, number-crunching statistical bar graphs and pie charts that I had to come-up with on “Behavioral Analysis of Male Sapiens”, I here by conclude that, this test can be carried out successfully without having to pawn out your entire life, in the process of understanding or getting to know each other completely, just like those underdone blocks of bricks staggering all the way through their life, until the last minute, being under a stumbling down building. A hedgehog must know better than to befriend a fox and get peed on before getting preyed on!
Relationships comes out with a price-tag of supreme attention and time, and I would rather want only those people in my life, whose personalities and intentions will uplift and strengthen me instead of draining and demoralizing me.
Identifying problems early begins with recognizing a banality:
Dealing with adversities doesn’t primarily build one’s character— it ONLY reveals it.
Therefore, by putting someone under pressure or in a difficult situation, you can pull back those glossy and dazzling outer covers and get a glimpse of what’s lying beneath, that would surface a few months or years down the line. And because little things are smaller samplings of the big boulder sized things, you can always choose to do the Sampling Test.
These tests may include simple things like,
- Judging how they react to last minute changes in your dinner/date plans.
- Gauging their reactions to sudden/unexpected monetary crisis situations, like making them pay for your treat in the last minute, as you realize and apologize profusely that you have forgotten your wallet at home. As the adage goes, some wonderful human beings turn into irrational idiots for matters involving few bucks.
- Testing their patience at public places where-in you have to wait for long to get your turn for the service in a Q-line or at a restaurant.
- Trying to figure how they react to a loud-mouthed or dominating family member of yours.
- Evaluate their biases against specific races and social classes, which are usually fast to emerge after there is any unexpected physical contact. Take them somewhere extremely crowded where they’ll be inadvertently bumped, preferably where they are exposed to people of different races and of lower socio-economic classes.
- Assess their determination for hygiene, sanitation and need for quality over quantity by suggesting to go to a dirty-local-crowded-cheap-cost market for shopping.
- Weigh-up their takes on the most disagreeing topics. By exploring the most controversial topics until you come across a subject that you both find most conflicting.
Being civil, good at listening, weighing the pros and cons of a subject in discussion, being unbiased in making decisions, being a bull when provoked for having healthy arguments which brings out the intellectual thinking in both of you and finding avenues for compromises as soon as the topic drifts away from its predefined boundaries. One needs to be good at identifying a common ground for both parties to agree upon while still fighting for their stand in reasonable cases, and laughing off the unimportant ones. Take care not to lose control of their emotions by making hurtful personal attacks or generalizations. Do not take on guilt or other negative emotions instead of discussing things logically. Ensure not to hold personal grudges to be held-back for future-stabbing purposes.
Needless to say, no one sane would recommend you to shove all of these into a single meeting with your potential partner (well, not unless you want a purple striped cheek), but the hypothesis is pretty simple if you look at it: life is both too long and too short to suffer through noxious relationships. The sooner we have an accurate read on someone, the better. Rather than hoping for the best and getting trapped in relationships you are unwilling to end due to guilt and indolence, you can test drive using a few specific situations and get a taste of what’s awaiting. One could realize how revealing the above scenarios were while traveling, as they came up geologically with the inevitable mix-ups and occasional bouts of bad luck. It makes one to wonder, if you can go about glimpsing someone’s true personality in a more reliable way? That said, there is no need to organize bad service at a restaurant, for example, if you can achieve the same output doing something fun but uncontrolled. A good long weekend of getting lost with someone will reveal most of the character you need to see. Just ensure you expose them to adverse conditions or awkward situations, to make the best of it.
Most people spend a lot of time planning their weekends than the status or importance of their relationships. Don’t be the one to commit the same mistake. You are an average of the kind of people you associate yourself with most. Make your choices to reflect the wisdom you possess.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Where Art Thou?
There weren’t any veiled notions,
In my heart, the pedestal of emotions…!
It could hold no more sweet words,
For it was tripping and falling backwards….
It could not embrace the unbridled passion,
For the love that was greedily consumed….
It could not withstand the will to cease,
For the life that was lived; not with ease…
It could not handle anymore white lies,
For the words of yesterday remain as blues…
It could not witness the grand parade,
For the chariots of love have gone askew…
It could no longer wish to be on Neptune,
For my life is soaked in volumes of misfortune…
It could not set things right in its reign,
For all those efforts of the past were in vein…
I die not, until I make my stand clear,
Where art thou? Am waiting to hear….
In my heart, the pedestal of emotions…!
It could hold no more sweet words,
For it was tripping and falling backwards….
It could not embrace the unbridled passion,
For the love that was greedily consumed….
It could not withstand the will to cease,
For the life that was lived; not with ease…
It could not handle anymore white lies,
For the words of yesterday remain as blues…
It could not witness the grand parade,
For the chariots of love have gone askew…
It could no longer wish to be on Neptune,
For my life is soaked in volumes of misfortune…
It could not set things right in its reign,
For all those efforts of the past were in vein…
I die not, until I make my stand clear,
Where art thou? Am waiting to hear….
Sunday, March 8, 2009
The You in Me!
Insanity healed the black spot in my heart
Was it a drill or a chisel that drove deep with an iron hammer?
I wouldn’t know; maybe it was both; taking turns,
Clearing the leaks, I slithered through soft tendons…
There it is: the full spot; its presence like, swirls of smoke disappearing into the sky.
It was worth seeing the spirit of my uncontrollable desire
Like the fine edge of the sword to unfurl from its sheath
A novice that I was, still taking lessons from the school of hearts
I only know what is gone, is lost now and what I had is mine no more.
The veil I wore; coined for so long and so wrong - as hypocrite,
Concealed the brandings of my embarrassing nakedness
For me, any other attire meant a disgrace to my existence.
Through love I tasted the fortitude of my life.
Curing one, it yielded another incurable pain.
The agonizing heat of love burned my heart cruelly,
Quite soon, before I could hold it firm...
And there like a smoldering fire, it withered away to ashes
Withstanding the pain it left behind;
All I had were the scars, for all the years to follow...
That pains not the external flesh but the internal heart!
Was it a drill or a chisel that drove deep with an iron hammer?
I wouldn’t know; maybe it was both; taking turns,
Clearing the leaks, I slithered through soft tendons…
There it is: the full spot; its presence like, swirls of smoke disappearing into the sky.
It was worth seeing the spirit of my uncontrollable desire
Like the fine edge of the sword to unfurl from its sheath
A novice that I was, still taking lessons from the school of hearts
I only know what is gone, is lost now and what I had is mine no more.
The veil I wore; coined for so long and so wrong - as hypocrite,
Concealed the brandings of my embarrassing nakedness
For me, any other attire meant a disgrace to my existence.
Through love I tasted the fortitude of my life.
Curing one, it yielded another incurable pain.
The agonizing heat of love burned my heart cruelly,
Quite soon, before I could hold it firm...
And there like a smoldering fire, it withered away to ashes
Withstanding the pain it left behind;
All I had were the scars, for all the years to follow...
That pains not the external flesh but the internal heart!
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