Sunday, January 14, 2007

Going Crazy!!!!!!

LIFE – what is it all about??

Working your ass-out compromising your basics & ethics? Like those 7 hours of sleep that your system demands and 3 meals that your appetite cries for!

Why do you have to work so much? Are you money-minded?

Heck! No…….. comes the answer from can see me dressed in the shabbiest way possible when at home and bordering on the lines of “decent” to make me look better from the guy who sits by the river-bridge walkway with a notice board against his knees which reads “Hungry and Cold – Please Help” - when am at office.

Well, does that mean am such a stasher?

Of course not!

Show me the direction… Goddammit!!

I am sounding stupid to myself… I make no sense at all in cribbing out loud to myself, I am a fool and I didn’t even know… For long I’ve been thinking that I am a smart-ass, Ha! Hell… I am so not one!! Just so I know…….Phew!

Holy Cow! I just didn’t write… Did I? Had I been thinking, I wouldn’t have done that to glorify my presently stinking status to worsen many folds!

Come on!!! GOD!!!! I plead temporary insanity. And I’m not even exaggerating that it has been PURELY insane lately.

Million bizarre questions haunting me day-in & day-out…Driving me crazy to nuts!

What am I thinking and why am I even thinking all of these now?

As I hear someone say “Age-Factor” – Is that what it really is?

Am I old? Oh ya, know that I am not a kid who’s just learning to crawl, but then I am not too old either to be thinking of all these annoying stuff that fills in my mind like those never divestible stains that stick to your wash-basin's sides….

Zoooooppppppppp… Right this moment this is what is going on inside my mind which is no lesser than an uncontrollable train of emotions running frequently connecting to all stations around the world for quite some time now….

Can we really list out all the qualities that we like in someone? Or accept them as who they are? Definitely accept them as who they are, not who I think they can be. Who they can be really depends on both of the couple. Grow together... mentally and emotionally... as one entity... inseparable... am I lying to myself? Do I really feel that way? Can I really tolerate all his weaknesses and make them as my own? Can I be a rock in a storm and let him lean on at times of strife? Can I turn my head inside out to do something special for him sometimes? Can I make him feel loved and cherished after long years of marriage? Love has no true is it? What is love? What is pride? Are they really separable, or is it just the way it is...? do you really have no pride, no pride at all when you are in love? Has anyone ever focused on the moment when they first got to know each other during their fight? Or focused on who's right, who's wrong?....('please stop... I love you'. You think the person next to you will listen, I mean REALLY LISTEN!) is it just me feeling this way?! …shit…that’s enough…there goes my mind again.

Somebody get me a GUN!