Wednesday, November 9, 2005

Ad Infinitum

Why is it you feel good one day and bad the next for no apparent reason?
Is it just luck or chance that makes things go well today and badly tomorrow?
why is it that there is a constant feeling that we have uncontrollable mood swings?
Life may have its ups and downs, but life does not have to be an uncontrollable roller coaster!
It's such a relief to not feel like I'm on a constant roller coaster, happy
one moment and completely desperate in another and its the otherway round most of the times.
And i think i wud get bored feeling 'up'& or feeling 'down' most of the time.
Believe me, having fun is --- it's much more fun than riding a roller
coaster that's out of control!

however u can always find out what - and who - is causing things to go wrong in your life. Conditions in ur life either improve or get worse. They don't stay the same.
A worsening condition in any area of life can bring u down and send ur whole
life towards failure. Have u ever known someone who seems to be doing great at work,
but their inability to have a sane relationship takes its toll not only on their personal ,
but also on their public life? Some great Legends...who've seen the glory of sucess...may spot this is an all-too-common situation these days, as an otherwise very
capable person can be brought to the point of utter despair over their inability
to handle some area of their life. but i donot agree with this point,cos u speak philosophy only after reaching a defined its easy to say things from the ends of luxury to a man whos dwindling in the huge admonishing shadows of strife..poverty...depression...& failure.
It can be a source of tremendous frustration and upset to a person, and can factually take up a lot of his or her attention blended with keen concentration to over come all these so called practical impossibilities according to them.

Too many people lead unhappy lives due to their inability to deal with others.While they understand the importance of having successful relationships, they aren't able to do so.
from a scientic report it is noted that.......
"Depression results from abnormal functioning of the brain. The causes of depression are currently a matter of intense research. An interaction between genetic predisposition and life history appear to determine a person's level of risk. Episodes of depression may then be triggered by stress, difficult life events, side effects of medications, or other environmental factors."

but according to me..definition of depression would be --- A state of sadness!

Depression is more than just feeling sad and can be very difficult to work through.
It feels very out of control sometimes and although there are ways to feel better,
it is often very difficult to see those options from the bottom of a “dark pit.”

The real cause of depression is not where we are, but our attitude about where we find ourselves.
It is possible to learn to live on the other side of ur feelings. We will always have feelings,
they will never go away, but we can make our feelings line up with our decisions. That's why God gives
us the fruit of self-control.....he he which i dunno where i have placed ...with my raging temper
being triggered at times to a great extent that the shot of bullet streaming out isnt that easy to be
stopped...forgot or overcome.

Does happiness depend on everything in your life being just right?
If u think u can't be happy until all ur circumstances are right, u will never be happy.
We all experience times in life when we feel down for various reasons, but we can't allow our circumstances
to control our emotions. Satan seeks to fill our minds with negative thoughts and emotions that cause us to
feel down. He is a discourager, and he pulls us down emotionally, spiritually, financially, and in every way he can.
How u feel affects how u think and how u act and vice versa.

When u are depressed u tend to see things negatively, u get frustrated and angry easily.
When u feel better u may find that ur anger decreases and u are able to tolerate more from others.
It is difficult to directly change how u feel. It is easier to attack those feelings indirectly by changing
how u think and how u act.
When you feel depressed u tend to start avoiding doing activities and seeing ppl that u would normally
find enjoyable because u “just don’t feel like it.” However, that is the worst thing to do because the end
result will be that u feel even worse.
Another common action when u r depressed is to become quickly frustrated and to get angry easily,
and frequently at the people who r important to U or ppl who r are trying to help..

Heard first, Felt next and Experienced the rest.....

Identifying counterproductive habits or thoughts you would like to discontinue and then discarding them instantly is the very first step.
Being mentally or emotionally rigid means that you hang on to habits that no longer serve you, habits that can make you unproductive, frustrated, unfulfilled.
Few illustrations of counterproductive habits that may reduce your will to persevere:
Nit-picking about work or the neighbors with friends.
Blowing small aggravations out of proportion.
Dwelling in the past.
Worrying about stuff that may not even happen, or that you cannot control.
Viewing yourself as a victim.
Worrying about what others are doing or what others have.
Wasting a lot of time in thinking about soemthing rather than going ahead and doing it.
Spending ample time on what others think about you & what their opinion is..

Try to be yourself and try to Focus on what you can do, not what you cannot do. When you focus on what you cannot do, you get more of it!
Keep YOUR pace. It's different from the pace of others. and don't feel guilty about moving ahead of some of your contemporaries or going too slow as compared to them. Live the life YOU want to live; earn what YOU want to earn; do what YOU want to do. Don't be too concerned about how others are living their lives.
over and over again...thats my argot...oflate...chanting & day-out...trying to pacify myself with what its making me seek,see,select and secure...but often..very often i am a failure..Find myself failing a lot than winning...someone named me winner on their buddy list..always used to wonder how & why?

Never did anything magnificent or astounding...few cud have sounded out-of-normal but they were merely conventional...

i've never been actively seeking ways to get out of studying or learning new things that wud give wide room for me to have good exposure about what the whole stretched out world has got in it which is the key to human existence!
but inevitability accounts for this, which, according to people
is the most creative one by far to look forward to life as a
promise..hmm pretty philosophical eh ?..

On a neutral note, I would actually say
there are no specifications really,as people come in all sizes and shapes,
and its the whole package that counts….like someone who is well educated
who would be a Fortune 500 exec, but that’s not what your going to live with… you do need to be a mentor in understanding human minds at its varied projections!
After all its emotions and feelings that plays the actual role of life…
How do u differentiate 1 person from another ..obviously apart from man and woman…..cos everyone’s got 2 eyes 2 hands 2 legs and so on…but what distinguishes them is what they are to u….the intimacy that ur showered with…the feelings & emotions wud never fail…I remember this story which disturbed me a lot….
A story of a dad & son….
Dad says to son: I was deprived of what I dreamt for…cos of poverty…I wudnt let tht happen to u my dear son so… I want u to become a doctor..
Son says to dad:ok dad will do that…
Dad says to son: don’t get urself into any bad habits cos u might get distracted and fail to achieve my dream to see u as a doctor .
Son says: ok dad I wont get distracted.
One fine day son becomes a famous doctor..
Dad says :dear son,u made my dream come true… be bold to ask me whatever u want !
Son says: Dad I want u to Build a Hospital for me
Dad says:ok son & gets it done for his son.
Son says to dad: ok dad get me a new suit now & Dad gets him one..
Son says: get me a new car & dad gets him one
Son says: get me a house & dad gets him one
Son says: get me married off to my gf and dad obliges..
Finally, son says: I don’t need u anymore get urself a place at an old age home..
Dad says but son what ur today is cos of me…
Son says: I know dad…but this is not where I didn’t want to be…but u pushed me into it …did u ever care to ask me wat my dream was ?? did u ever stop to ask me whether I liked to become a doctor or not ?? did u ever know that ur dreams cannot be same as mine ??
Dad becomes speechless for a while and says…but son,I was a poor young man at ur age and I wanted to be a doctor cos its one profession where u make lots of money….So i wanted u to be the one i wanted to see myself as ...don’t u have a heart ? its me…ur dad who’s the reason for what u r today my son !
Son says: but dad…when did I ever say becoming a rich man is my DREAM ?
U were a money minded maniac all ur life…and u pushed me into it…u never taught me what love is…what caring and sharing is…what emotions and feelings are…u know what I have as definition for a dad? – Money Minded Maniac or (Materialistic, Money minded, Manipulative) man

Where as it should actually be the other triple MMM man...
M – Magnificent
M – Maestro
M – Meticulous

This is something one should always think about…give room to others thoughts & feelings too…before u forcibly push in ur expectations onto them !Its all about ur attitude once again apart from all ur hardships & tough times that u went thru’ and ur desperate expectation of not wanting the same to happen to ur future generation!

The longer u live, the more u realize the impact of attitude on life.

To me, attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstance, than failure, than success, than what other people think or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It can make or break a great company, a good relationship, a happy home. The remarkable thing is you have a choice every day regarding the attitude you will embrace & follow for that day.

We cannot change our past. we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude.

“ I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you. You are in charge of your attitudes”. -author unknown

"A true handicap is what we don't do with what we have, not what we can't do with what we don't have." - Christopher H. Brewer

"Do not think that love in order to be genuine has to be extraordinary. What we need is to love without getting tired. Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies." - Mother Teresa

Great people…… With great attitudes…A few above are the best examples..

Monday, October 31, 2005


What the are a bunch of people making monkey's out of themselves in the name of falling in love...they are either too confused or they are patient's of Alzhimer's!
I say so cos these are the ones that get carried away so instantaneously for almost nothing and find themselves in the middle of a cess-pool leading them nowhere...

It irritates me to the core when people say "I got carried away...Damn it!"
what a sick thing it is to get carried away and do the worst of things that u never did all your life?
Is it cos some old useless guy long ago told that theres always first time to everything?
I also hate it when people crib "I feel cheated cos of this and that"
You are the sole owner of all injustice and all the wrong things happening/happened to you...
You cant be blaming others for a long time for the mistakes that are yours...
But then, if you are that chicken hearted to accept your mistakes all you can probably do is to keep pointing others for your flaws..your incapabilities...your errs...

uncontrollable...unforseen errors....

"should be taken care of before....but now its too late.." - I hate that one coming from anyone...its never too late...although u cant set everything can still make things get to some sorta better shape from its battered form..

Never never never never trust anyone in life.............

Thursday, September 15, 2005

The Demon in You

When you start thinking more about what your needs are in life… it is true that you really go blank in finding the answer to that most important question of your life…
I am sure there would be a hell lot of people who would voice my opinion on this although I am not even a wee bit sure as to whether there would really be one who would actually be able to accept it - Being a classical hypocrite one wouldn’t want to do so.
Well, exceptional cases are a rarity to be found on a normal state of affairs.
I call it the Disaster-of-the-Demon in you………

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere but that they are as confused as you.Hmmmm…true! Confused is what they are – how to shoo-away the fiend inside your head? Most of all you look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, cos you are doing one of the shittiest performances at it not deliberately but cos of your mood-swings or cos you have a frame of mind-set and you wouldn’t want to budge no-matter-what or maybe you are looking for a change of job and realize that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you, so you just want to give-up on everything and curl-up under your bedcovers and lay there forever without any disturbance!At times you feel your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life sometimes with a fear that maybe you wouldn’t be gaining the same force & strength the next time you try!
So much for being a certified paranoid mastering the world of obsessive fright – but this time round I would dare say such is not life! – Damn you – This isn’t at all can make up to one’s life – If life is what one chooses to call his being in this universe as……Sometimes, you feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward. You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better or get that someone know you better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren't a bad you make a promise to yourself that you wouldn’t hurt yourself or the your loved one either! But invariably you find yourself breaking the same promise everyday N number of times that frustrate you and add more to your insanity and you plead temporary insanity at the least. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision.

You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out....
God No ---- I dont - never want this anytime in life again - not after going through all this...A run-down on life lately such as above is pure insanity - at its full blast & perfect blend.....

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Cataclysmic Manifestation

The odds of using them in the bonafide world are astronomically tiny
To all those geeky, non-geeky,hip,non-hip,posh,not-so-posh heads out there... thou shall not be misled by the hues and cries of the malicious mob trying to entwine your brain cells with frenzied prattle or their hysterical jabbering about the pros and cons & don’t knock your self out....

Life sucks with a mobile phone where in u gotta pay 600 bloody bucks for absolutely nothing but in the name of so called ******* PLAN charges and TAX !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Then what the *#$%^&* do I save on ????

How the hell am I to make my bill come with in 800 bloody bucks??
This is getting worse than the most ridiculous thing that can ever get to happen to someone
Ppl say I gain a lot using this so called mobile connection…. hell !!!!!!what am I gaining nothing but unidentified & unknown & ununderstandable charges to be paid in bulk every month like bonded-slavery without a word of explanation about it !
Damn !
I earn..i spend…is okay!!!!!!!!

But spend without enjoying the happiness of spending is too much to bear…I don’t call up my dear ones I don’t use my cell for outgoing calls … still I get so much to pay is tooooooooo very much !!!!!


Never been good at writing a poem and that too about love of all the things in the world!!!

Spare me if its pathetic which am sure it is....

Once you have loved, you will always love
Because love grooms your whole self,
Into an entirely new person
From what you were before
When you are in love you get possessive
When you are in love you get selfish
When you realize your love is not fruitful
When you learn that your love cannot be reciprocated
When you find out that your love is not going to work out for you
And when you see that your love is taking you no where
It is then that you the feel pain of love
Though you know very well what is to be done
To get yourself out of this pain
Your heart will not listen to your mind
And to know that the one you loved
Cannot love you, but loves someone else
Shatters your heart into pieces
You are at a fix
You neither want to feel bad
Nor can you feel good about it
Yet you cant stop yourself from loving the person
No matter what for love is love – Period!
Its silly to expect someone to fall out of love,
As it never happens so..Love stays – Active or Dormant!
But still lives though – Forever!


Never-Ever did I think that life’s got so many different dimensions to it and with time you welcome it or not each dimension took their turn in playing their role picture perfect with out sparing you at anytime, anywhere.

I am sure that wouldn’t have made much sense as complex & complicated as I can always be with my words, making it all the more decipherable to the ones that have a decent level of patience to go through this all so-hazy and “oh-i-am-here-to-provide-some-gyaan” stuff of mine !

Thanks to you for going on with an expectation of some change, if not today, some day at the least!

Guess not much have changed with the way I write though, yet quite a lot of thought has been put up on the different dimensions of life that I mentioned of.

Yes, true that time changes human kind.

It is very true that with time, space and a bit of extra energy to put up a frequently updated chart on things to do & things not to do … a lot of things differ from what it was before and what it is now …

People change is the bottom line.

Do people change for good or bad is not the question, as it is left to the individuals desire fully to choose what they want to possess as they grow up ahead in their life from no one to someone.

And for sure, there’ll be a time when the someone will have to be the ONE - looked upon by everyone and that day, when you take sometime of yours to review the past that was committed to your memory(if u had chose to commit!) then that would make you the master of wisdom. that would in turn mean that you have learnt,lost,missed,achieved,won,smiled,cried,seen pleasure,experienced misery…and what not?

Time is the best HEALER
Time is also the best TEACHER
Time is the best MEDICINE

Time is again your worst enemy

But make sure u play along with the TIME so that you don’t let it lead you and you remain a loser!
Be the best enemy of Time!
Challenge the time – Make sure you win all the time!!

Time must be under your control, when u let the vice versa happen – decide that you are the loser for sure and STOP trying even – cos it’s of no use anymore as you’ve lost the game already!

Monday, September 5, 2005

Frustration at its Peak!

I was wondering what was happening to me on that not-so-rainy but so-very-breezy evening when I was at the best of my mood swings.
I was very irritable at that moment and as a result of which I could sense my inane habit of throwing and dropping things that come my way or things my hands could lay on was going a bit overboard!

And all the more evasively people had to end-up doing a stretch therapy with my already long-enough legs.
It was so intimidating that day for me when I realized that nothing I tried to do was fruitful since the day had dawned in with the all-so-favorite room mate of mine blowing out her horns to declare the already known painful fact which woke me up from my otherwise extended sleep – POWER CUT!

I Said “oh ye?..thanks for the reassurance im still into my senses to look & feel!”

She walked away with a dejected face.
Well that’s a routine to her by now, with her highly illogical declarations of matter-of-factly things and giving out exaggerated explanations to trivial things.

It feels so sick that people are so idiotic at times that they get u on your nerves with their highly moronic behavior and the more sardonic u are to them the more cacophonic they make your life with their idiosyncrasy!

Feeling already blissful for the day I gather myself up from the bed to freshen up and proceed to the rest room only to figure that there is not even an ounce of water left in the buckets or the slimmest of water droplet sticking to the mouth-of-the-tap.
Highly pissed…at this scenario where I am to go to the loo peacefully to regain my sleep which was on hold due to the jerky wake caused by my wonderful roomy!

Cursing her under my breath I went down to switch on the motor groggily and was startled totally with my eyes fixed upon the switch and mouth gaped open with utter shock…..

THE SWITCH WAS ON BUT THERE WAS NO “GRRRR” SOUND COMING OUT OF THE GODDAMNED MOTOR – which means POWER CUTTTTTTTT it was now that the strong effect of power cut had registered on my mind bellowing the bare fact of what my irritating roommate declared so loudly sometime ago!

“Shit man!!!!!!” – I thought… Well it really was a shitty state of affair as it is when I am just out of bed and lots of u-know-what’s are to be done with my rest-room and lots of water….

Now, this is not fair…What the heck am I to do ????

With all my anger I came storming up to my room with nothing prospective or useful to do, with the hope of snoozing-off again…
On my way, I kicked something very hard… with all the blur and grumpiness running faster than the blood running into my veins…I looked back to see what I shoved away to the invisible goal post with all my early-morning-anger-driven-energy…and there it was shattered into pieces of uncountable or unidentifiable fragments….tittering pathetically for the strong wind ( which was blowing outside with full force now as if to welcome my current achievement) was the pair of rim-less, glass-less, frame of my goody-goody roommate’s spectacles!!

Holy shitttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How can I do that…shit….i go up to the mess and pick it up and start scrutinizing the frame with what’s left over of it…

She’s upstairs talking to her friend over phone…when she comes back I am to be killed…
Gracious god… show some mercy on me… All my grogginess has been wiped out cleanly now with an intense terror seeping inside my heart with a sinking pain…how can I do this to was a Sunday and the village we lived in did not promote such exclusive ideas like keeping the optical shop open on public holidays like that of Sundays!
And she cannot live with out her glasses…

The last thing I ever wanted to do to my favorite roomy who always cared for me was to damage her 3rd and 4th eyes!

Damn… so ricocheting on what can be done best to cover-up the damage done I was back on my bed with thoughts….and within no time I was into deep sleep, slashing & gashing and garrulously yelling at the dementors who came out of nowhere in the Forbidden forest where I am walking with Harry and his hippogriff as we are just about to take off to see Albus Dumbledore who’s actually not dead but is alive in the cave where Lord Voldemort’s horcrux was found !

I wake-up sweating all over and feeling fatigue having had an exhausting encounter with the dementors and also winning harry’s heart in the process being the best fighter in women – better than Hermione …No-No! Better than that damsel Harry’s in love with what’s her goddamned name I say – oh yeh…. Miss Ginny Weasley! – BB !!!!!

So much for a bad day……huh-oh…gotta be cheesing up my sweetie-pie roomy whose glasses I smashed!

Hmmm…GoD sAvE mE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When Someone said "watch out on how much you work...."

The Clock ticks away to glory everyday only to suggest that i am growing old with days and my time's running out in this vast space, leaving me with another day short of not-achieving what i wanted to or leaving me with a day's time...

Anyways this picture above caught my attention somehow just to tell me that sometimes, you work your ass out under psyched up situations where you're already running short of your deadline dates on ur processes, so with butterflies and snakes taking in different shapes in ur stomach u sit-up for long, slog and give your best only to figure out that u havent achieved even 10% of what you could have achieved on a normal day under normal circumstances with 0% pressure nailing you down with heavy boulders on your shoulders...

Well..although as opposed to what's written on the calendar you work giving ur 60-70% on each day, believe me in the end...its gonna prove you nothing great!
No big deal.. as its the same shit every day....

A tap here and a tip there and you are the bigshot of the higher level management - the cream crowd.. and a very polished way of putting across even the shittiest thing under the sun - that's the right identification of the Mgmt lot!

They manage well or they do a big mess-up doesnt matter at all...but in the end they get their things done somehow by deligating things, routing the work thru' different channels of communications, either by tact or by sheer threat...

well for those lots, that dwell deep down at the peasant level who slog n slog and does nothing but coding and debugging...its always like "hey u outthere..u do this code n wind-up with all done cleanly n u get this loaf of bread !" ....there he goes the loyal bread winner of the level1 family...

Hmm...inevitable isnt it?

Quite true...that's ok...dudes but my suggestion is whatever u do stick to the calender above so that you do justice to urself and ur boss...

Try to strike balance between ur life and ur work's dude!

Ticking still with time n growing old...

the oldy and philly me....

signing off...

Doubts in my "Native Language" - Part I

1. Why is a fool called Vennai?
He neither is capable of producing butter nor does he own a butter factory – then where does the English translated word butter fit into this scenario of a foolish guy being called as “vennai”

2. Why is a person who speaks in English called “peter” ?
Neither did a man called peter introduce english amidst tamil population, nor was peter the father of English. So why this name based discrimination?

3. Why is flirting termed as Kadalai?
Neither does flirting produce pea-nuts nor do people eating lots of pea-nuts tend to flirt..then why kadalai?

4. Why are good looking girls called kattai ?
Neither do they have a figure/shape of a wooden stick.. nor do they emerge from wood. Then where did kattai come from?

5. Why is money termed as dhuddu?
I am sorry I can’t make out any references for this word being used as replacement for “kasu” which should actually be used…. If anyone can explain will be happy.

6. Why is a big shot called as pisthu ?
Neither does he produce pista nor does he own a pista factory..then why?
I also wondered was it coined from ppsssst – like ppl who make you go "pppssst" (a phonetic used to represent the highly pissed of state) are called pisthu’s or what?

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Zombies are made(not born?!)

At 7.30am,packed in a bus, that was suffocating already, carrying more than the required number, it’s windows tightly shut to prevent the rain water hitting & wetting the faces of the window-seaters, was jam-packed with people finding happiness in even an inch of space that they can get their feet on!

Heavy imported laptops slinging from their shoulders, assorted with massive jackets making wuish-wuish sounds, lunch kit, office bags & other stuffs to make the place even more crammed and ineligible to breathe-in and breathe-out.

With all those sleepy and grim looking faces filled in that dimly lit corporate bus, it gives me an impression of a bunch of automatons being transported from one site to another for some technical enhancements on to those expressionless flat faces…

The first site being taken to would be: The-so-called Office

I don’t believe that site would provide the missing expressions on the faces of these androids…but I am sure they would obtain at least half-of-what-they-want when they reach their next Site:-HOME! – Say in 8, 9, 10, 12 hrs from now…

Yet for all those that live away from their homes and are put-up in hostels or PGs or be it C/O platforms it doesn’t stop there either as their struggle for life proceeds there too.. Struggle for food, struggle for sleep, struggle for privacy, struggle for freedom & peace and all the other battles that would prop up when one is forced to live in a common-place.

On a constructive note, No other field except IT in today’s scenario is as well-heeled with bags and bags of dollars…Giving you a head-start at:
1. Free monetary flows (with instant loans & EMI’s following pursuit)
2. Plush living with the possession of a spacious triple bedroom apartment in the
heart-of-a-most-happening software city.
3. A sophisticated air conditioned car parked at your portico.
4. A bunch of cards that you swipe in to get to anything, anywhere and anytime
5. A mail sent to your team with a list of acclaims and accolades from your top management for your sweat-n-blood.

Such perfection has definitely got to do with minimum amount of sacrifices…Here goes the eternal list…
Residual remains of being a work alcoholic – sucking out all ur energy cells.
Receding/Graying hairlines
Traces of faintly skewed brains(mind?)
Over-worked eyes behind those high powered lenses – which you very smartly call as anti-glare glasses
Permanently dark(ened) circles bearing eyes that are gone way inside their respective sockets
Uneven, ill maintained and shapeless and unhealthy body conditions are one the most prominent diseases for being a s/w pro for a relatively long time…

Well, when I say relatively long time, I strongly believe that “ONE” full year under the same type of work would also create the sufficient damage that would make you a perfect “whatever-you-are” as described above!

Multi-lingual crowd from all four directions of the country bringing in their drawl to add to the dashboard which is already overloaded with too many linguistic theories set-out by the majority crowd or localities.

Paragraphs to sentences to words, you are so conscious every time you utter a single sentence of the local language because you don’t know the language yet you would want to learn and speak to please the people around or with the only notion of getting their understanding in a better way comparatively.

Simply South….
Yellow becomes “Ellow”
Number becomes “Nem-ber”
Air becomes “Ye-air”
One becomes “Vone”
Account becomes “Yec-count”

Nostalgic North/the rest of the India .
Veg. becomes “bheg”
Potato becomes “Batata/o”
Parent becomes “Pay-rent”
Oh come on becomes “Arey Yaar”
Oh yes becomes “haan naaa”
What I would like to say is becomes “What I would like to say ki”

These transient yet practical inabilities of human-mind gets into this doggedness with issues in a quick click of the fingers.
So I have a veritable buffet of:
1) Juveniles who prefer to indulge in meaningless emoticon exchange.
2) Their marginally more intelligent brethren who walk with a boulder-sized regional chip declaring a diabolic nature over the other clan members.

Anyways, beyond all this…there comes an onsite opportunity that dives you in with full energy to get accustomed to this, like how a treasure is waiting for the man who’s playing the hunt game facing hardships and difficulties, only to seek the gold & in our case to seek the foreign currency and the glimpse and sniff of the overseas air which would add value to one’s resume on their achievements column…but no one has the guts to mention as a foot note the things that they had to forego for achieving what’s on their papers do they?

They don’t talk about the number of insomniac nights they spent in an alien country having no sign or feel of home to pour out or share the sad things or the happy moments…Number of times they had to brace themselves up from not breaking down every time they were ill-treated as if they were some down trodden and menial things belonging to the lower order world…..

Well they wouldn’t would they? Would you?

Cos, it’s a world of gamble….and every man wants to speculate.

Hmmm…now that explains it all…. Monetary needs that forays all the other emotional and sentimental needs….

Vicious circle though…..this is why people don’t mind being zombie’s from the land of androids transported from the source to their destination and vice versa.

A hope…The hope that keeps every man alive…

A hope is a target. It’s an aspiration... it’s a fire of desire…it’s a goal post that you draw for yourself!

Hope of achieving the best in you in your short span of life – that is what it is and that is where the whole world is heading to…….

On that very thought….
I resign for now,

Friday, August 19, 2005

Gawky Life!

I’ve always wondered what these four words had in common with them that they constantly made me feel that they belong to the same family interwoven in a discreet way which made them sometimes inseparable to put in a more appropriate manner.
“Obsession – Love – Liking – Addiction”
Why is one addicted to someone/something?
Why is one obsessed with someone/something?
Can you say it’s because they like/love that someone/something so much to an extent of overdose that it becomes an inevitable/indispensable part of their life sooner or later with out their applying any deliberate effort for the same…

What I name as obsession can be named as love by someone but the same can be named as addiction by the third person & the fourth can brush it aside calling it as infatuation which for all its alternate meaning can again be taken as liking someone/something blindly!

Now what does blindly mean?

Unconditional, uncontrollable, unidentifiable and unperturbed sense of belonging/being close to that someone whom you believe would keep you happy, by giving you the best that you see in them and be there for you forever!
Come to think of it…its all about how you perceive things that come your way. If you say its positive ions they are positive and their affinity increases every time you see them.

But when you push them off saying they are negative they do turn out to be negative and will in turn increase the aversion for the same!

Lucifereous fiend is what you turn out to be when you get neck deep into that cesspool of obsession or mania…like what i am about HP without any reason or meaning attached to it !

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Rising Insanity

it was 12.00 am when 7th of August had just begun...and it was time for me to call up my bestfriend since school time & wish her happy birthday!

It was more of an extempore idea that came across my mind when i was ringing her up..that i blurted out "Hey today is ur birthday right?...i hope its not tomm is it?" and that got her totally off-gaurd, yet as shrewd as she always is...she gathered instantly to reply back "oh yeah? actually it'z yesterday!" - then she cooled herself down and told me that "No one in my life had so far wished me this way on my birthday .. i am too shocked at the rate at which your r proving to be extraordinarily brilliant with your exceptional ways of doing the most basic things "

And i being I... gleefully said "thank u, thank u!" what can i say for the rising insanity in me oflate...

Expect more from "Me"


Thursday, July 14, 2005


Sometimes we simply know. We simply know what is to be done to handle a situation. We are completely in sync and are fully aware of another person. How did we know that we know?....we may or may not know.A person's Insightful, Intuitive or the innate understanding of a certain situation/scenario/person - Conceptuality - as I would like to call it.A person's conceptuality on someone or something is function of his or her experience and/or genetics. Clearly, if you have spent a great deal of time with someone, after a point in time you begin to sense how that person might react to certain stimuli. In conversation you end up completing his/her sentences even before he/she does. This is in essence conceptuality as a result of experience. So while you may not be born salesman, if you have spend about 5-8years in the field, at the end of it, you intuitively know how to sell, what clicks, what works and what doesn’t. Conceptuality as a function of genetics is debatable. We have all; based on empirical and extrapolative observation, at some point of time or the other would have observed certain people having a command over certain subjects and situations for as long as we've known them. Some are born mathematicians. Some by nature are very good at handling people. Some we've felt are born sportsmen/women. In several cases I have observed that either or both parents or ancestors have to some extent been involved in the field where the person is seen to be displaying conceptuality. Perhaps either or both parents or his/her ancestors themselves would have displayed conceptuality in the field.Conceptuality in a person is not dual in nature. One has to develop one's conceptuality. First one must recognize one has it. On recognition, one may choose to develop it. What helps a person develop his/her conceptuality is a function of genetics, environment and self. You may realize you are a good sportsman. You may want to develop it. But your parents may not agree, your academic pressure takes away most of your time etc. Clearly, the environment here will not allow you to develop your conceptuality.At the end of the day it is important to understand what one is conceptual at. Whether one chooses to develop it or not is one's prerogative. At least choice made should be an informed one.

Conceptuality to a level that is unsurpassed can be reached with an ease if you are a constant practitioner of open-attitude and whole hearted acceptance of the “Law of Conceptuality” at every step!

We come,We see & We aspire…but do we conquire?

Disruptive Creativity

Like Poles Repel…Unlike poles attract…..

Disruptive creativity has become the latest fashion of getting to learn things.Everyone of us has a predictable order to his life...We get up in the morning, brush our teeth, break fast, work, dine and sleep to repeat the same routine again...Routine is the word...Human beings (at least most) hate change and love predictability, safety, hence the routine...corporations have evolved their own notion of routine in the name of efficiency...Job descriptions, hiring and firing policies..
Although on the other hand, the constant hues & cries raised by the inner self fuelling up the burning desire to break free – To see a drastic change from a dull mundane sickening life to a life of a valor – an exotic life with a phenomenal blend of bravery and , its quite a controversy at that point when 2 ends meet,Umm..No wonder they choose to remain asymptotic!
A freak is a guy who cannot be predicted. A mad man has no logic...Logic can be predicted hence freaks are equivalent to mad men??...Maybe.. But i guess we call that sort of madness creativity...So creativity is all about being unpredictable!!....So simple!So what we can do to be creative is to break free of all semblance of routine, in other words, logic...Breaking free also has a spiritual connotation..Science relies on hard logic...Hence scientists may claim that there is no God because there is no proof that He exists. No logic to the claim that He exists...So believers have to be seek out form to an incomprehensible non existent form.....So by default, believers are creative people...........To sum it...break free of the traditional mould, climb out of the well, lose yourself in that incomprehensible vacuum of thoughts that are void of ordered structure.

To be free and in the process find thy liberation...

Banana Leaf!

Food served in traditional banana leaf had always been delicious, mouth-watering and not to mention an all time favorite for food-lovers or gluttons if you may call in a mean sense.

Well, now there is a controversy, which would pull-up to denote, being a food-lover is nowhere related to being a glutton because for all you know a person who loves food may not necessarily be an over-eater or glutton, but just a person who simply enjoys every fraction of his time spent on admiring & taking-in his food...

Anyways all the controversies apart, the topic of the day is definitely not the one about the hubbub mentioned above but it’s about the scrumptiousness that would make you go crazy over the food that’s been served in front of you in an extremely heartwarming way, much more, to keep you connected to the ethnics that once sunk deep inside you and has now gone astray with the busy race of your (our?!) modern existence!

As a matter-of-fact I would say food always tasted much better than what it had been, when served with all the warmth & hospitability.

There really is a paramount difference in the flavor of the food, based on how hostile or how cordial it’s been served to you!

It's really strange how much one can accomplish by following a simple uncomplicated life. How complicated, needlessly we have made life for ourselves. It really does not matter I guess what you are as long as you are happy.

And to be happy with simple things in life is an art and learning alone wouldn’t suffice, you would have to master the art to live every inch of it!

The threshold of every July, back at home would chime in the arrival of a bunch of festive days to follow bringing in more joyous moments to slurp in the yummy, hot-sweet & hot-spicy food on the traditional serving leaf .

The taste I say is more, in eating that way because it’s more close to being in touch with Mother Nature; you feel you are still a part of the earth and its earliest inmates!

Unsurprisingly, it gives you the fulfillment of having had a good meal, let alone the extra appetizing effect that you get in as a bonus!

More often than not, it impairs the savory of the edibles in an awful manner on a daily routine whenever you are pushed into the trend of having to eat on ceramic plates having to perform a solo hockey or javelin match invariably in a crowd of high-society polished community, or the delirious inhabitants that queue-up with steel-plates in an ostensible middle class canteen/mess.

On that note, one must really be lucky to appreciate the aftertaste that he/she gains, upon eating one of the most sought-after food items of South-India, officially named as “Sugar-Pongal” and practically identified as the brown-colored rice, a residue we get when we boil the rice with milk & jaggery, drenched in ghee & festooned with dry grapes, cashew nuts, Pista and badam… served hot & sizzling on a lush green, garden-fresh banana-leaf , which would in turn cause the green leaf to go black cause of the intense heat radiating from the steaming Pongal – “Man its Heaven!!” is one simple line to explain the feeling on a much precise account!

At that golden moment of ecstasy with your eyes, nose and mouth watering when you take-in the first morsel of the most delightful food, prepared by the world’s best cook – Your Mom (of course)…Gushing out is the feel of paradise and fantasy – Unsurpassed !

Friday, April 15, 2005


Yesterday was my dad's birthday !
Never distributed sweets for his bday so far in my life except for this time, when he turned 55 yesterday...nothing really changed back at home at i believe when its the other way round over here in the cultural city of MH.

Nothing really changes though it looks like a small drench in the natural shower would give a solid break for the heated up skull and overcooked grey cells.

Anyways, more often than not..... there isnt always a drastic change in the characteristic traits of a person from the past to the present...yet...changes are always welcome as a minute ray of hope that says someday down the line things might improve or take a sudden drift making it all out of ordinary.

its 9.20pm and am about to run to catch my bus to go home.

will write more nexttime its a promise to myself ....promise to my blog too for bearing with this shameless owner who's least bothered about her blog !

Monday, January 31, 2005

Got My Right Place (Before & After)

Got my System and Desk alloted Today !!!!!

First Floor Wing B and a Corner Cabin ....

Revised Edition:- Been shifted to the next cabin now !! :-)

My mentor shares the workspace cubicle with me.

Shes nice shes good very calm,cool and composed - Exactly opposite to me!

Guess shes learnt of patience lessons from dealing with people like me ..

Will write more soon about my new venture and adventures of the new place..............

checking out...