Wednesday, September 15, 2004

Neither Here Nor There...!

Sometimes we find ourselves fluctuating a lot from the decision out of a situation to be made because of the significance of the ‘state of affairs’ grounded on the circumstances there by swaying and flickering from the right decision to be made on a justifiable note.

Always remember the balance when ur in the shoes of a judge…otherwise be true and remind urself constantly not to take the post of the judge when u cant get urself into being unbiased towards the subject and the case.

Graceful degradation is where all of us are heading to…. there’s no constant or consistent things to be doted upon or trusted with. There’s nothing that’s long standing and worthy of our unconditional belief.

Skepticism has become quintessential in everything and everyone.
And apparently all prefer to be a skeptic than to be an optimistic and loose hold of options in life.
In a world of hypocrites no ones ready for a confrontation.

Everybody seems to be running away from it plainly cos every one of us are guilty being a part of the ultimate crime in one-way or the other.
One wouldn’t want to row with someone cos of the personal fear of humiliation he may have to undergo by the verbal attack of his counterpart !

And disgrace and ignominy is something that’s proscribed in the tamed, civilized and educated society of today.

“U be a don but still be unknown to the mundane and that gives u more respect and value for what u are” is how people of late seem to be training their minds with.

And today this is one of the widespread reasons why most of the relationships remain dilapidated even before conforming its full effectiveness to the parties involved.
But then speaking out does solve things as said earlier by all those great souls who had seen, felt and by experience faced a lot of decrepit miseries all their lives.

Well well, whos who to say what’s what here ?
One may want to speak out to feel good but one may want to stay shut to be happy and feel good bout themselves.
Either way its better that one takes sometime with the intriguing questions that occur to them now and then.

Trying to get as creative, imaginative and wild as one can get one must take both the stands for those questions that often make us wonder and try to be a judge of our own things.
Taking time is one important factor…nothing happens accidentally!
Each happening is a planned event!

Making the best out of the plan is always what one expects, for expectation is one main factor that stands proof for many things to happen and it’s the pivot around which the events occur making things happen and ultimately giving it a false shade called “accident”!
No use lamenting for the loss for its obvious that u lose when u are at a game of gamble where the probabilities of ur winning is scanty!
So what would u do??
But how true can u be in redefining having just recovered from the fatal accident ?
The tenacity and the doggedness to redefine urself in an all-new-dimension must be more than equivalent to the one that led u to the accident….
Because recovery always takes more time than injury!
And when ur willing to recover u do it fully without taking any chances cos when u take chances it more or less means that ur preparing urself yet again for a more deadly accident this time !

It’s the state of ur mind that must decide where ur trudging on seek what and how to go about achieving it
Every wrong goal would setoff a list of wrong measures eventually making the little leftover rights to be turned wrong in the process of wrong doing and wrong thinking.

U work on what u think…and when u think something wrong it ends up wrongly..

The Butterfly Story

A man found a cocoon of a butterfly. One day a small opening appeared, he sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through the little hole.
Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could and could go no farther. Then the man decided to help the butterfly.
He took a pair of scissors and snipped the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily.
Something was strange. The butterfly had a swollen body and shriveled wings. The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time.
Neither happened. In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and deformed wings. It was never able to fly.
What the man in his kindness and haste did not understand, was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the small opening of the cocoon are God's way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.
Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our life.
If God allowed us to go through all our life without any obstacles, that would cripple us. We would not be as strong as what we could have been.
Not only that, we could never fly.

Some one some time ago had said the following....


Remember, you can earn more money, but when time is is gone forever.

Pretend that every single person you meet has a sign around his or her neck that says, Make Me Feel Important. Not only will you succeed in sales, you will also succeed in life.

Perhaps the single most important element in mastering the techniques and tactics of racing is experience. But once you have the fundamentals, acquiring the experience is a matter of time
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do then by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails.


Someone thinks about u before they go to sleep.
Atleast 15 people in this world love u in some way.
The only reason anyone would ever hate u is because they want to be just like u.
A smile from u can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like u.
There r atleast 2 people in this world that u would die for.
U mean the world to someone.
Someone that u don't even know exists loves u.
When u make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.
When u think the world has turned its back on u, take a look again.
Always remember the compliments u received.
Forget about the rude marks.

I am a poet and i didnt know....

We were friends of life
Friends of good times and bad
You were the one that I
Liked the most,
Treasured the most,
And of course trusted the most too…
Days spent with u were the
Most cherished memories of my life…
Felt proud being your friend …

With every small favor that u did
Only my debts were incremented
With the strength of our friendship
Growing more I really envied you with
The way u cared and understood me
In every possible way and stood by me
When I needed u the most …

But never did I think that it was all a
Preview for something drastic to
Show up in the future leaving me out
In the deep misery and melancholy

Things were always fine and pure
As long as the expectations from each
Other remained the same for sure.
Soon the equilibrium was lost
With one extra bit of selfishness
And uncertainty started the gruesome things
That would shatter the delicate bowl of friendship.

At first I didn’t know how to react
Because I wasn’t prepared to loose you
And the thought made me feel weak
As it meant losing all my strength saved up
In our friendship till date…

With thoughts debating with each other
I ran past a number of sleepless nights
Thinking of a solution to end the misery
I realized I wasn’t in love
But u were…
Nevertheless I needed our friendship
Because u were one of those true kinds

And I believed I could change you
Change u the way I changed u before
In making u fall in love with me
I thought I would change you again..
But this time ……
In making u forget the love u have for
Me and get it over with and
Come to me one fine day and tell me
“ I promise you today that
You are just my Best friend now…
And I wish we stayed this way
Pure and harmless all our life… And
Thanks for changing me into what I was before!”

Days passed and I saw myself losing
Cos u didn’t want to change this time
You were stuck with the first change that
Induced the love in you…
And I was helpless..
I was getting uncomfortable
You were my best friend..
But I was not just your best friend …
We were not on the same levels
That disturbed me a lot
I wanted a way out
Tried out all I can
But u weren’t ready for the change
That I wanted from you..

I was getting scared
I was feeling bad
I didn’t want to see my best friend
Struggle or feel bad this way
I could sense what u feel
And I couldn’t do anything about it…

I failed in changing you…

I failed…in making u understand
That I wasn’t okay with you…
Wasn’t okay with your head filled
With me and my thoughts

I willed and wished to be your Best friend
Nothing more and nothing less too
But when I figured I couldn’t
Do anything to change you..
I felt bad…

I didn’t have a choice but to

Go away…

Walk-away with out a word…

But sensed that it would take
A lot from me to do it !

So I decide that
And talk to you…
First sarcasm filled the air striking remarks then followed
Grins turned into dubious eyebrows,
I knew I was giving u a hard time
I didn’t find any other way out
And I let the arguments begin! Time passed by... now more withonly acquiring the habit we have begun. Though the longer the mockery was, the harder it was revealing each other's identity.
Because neither u nor I was ready to give up
On what we had on our minds…
And ironically I was still hoping by some magic
I would end up finding the real "you."
The “You” - As you used to be before…

Is that an off beam expectation?
Unfortunately, there's just too many sarcasm from me, and barely little of the real u...
Powerless…I asked if this would change, God told me "yes—it would" Deciding that nature will take its place I set aside my worries and decided
To proceed with my life
And wanted you to do the same.
While in my mind, I knowthere's a boundary keeping us apart.
(Which I didn’t want to be there…
As it never was long ago
When we were just good friends..)

With things coming to a formal
Ending I still wonder…
Will our friendship ever be at ease? In my mind – I still remain..I hope..
And I pray
For the change that I wished for!

Composed by,
I, Me and Myself

Sunday, September 12, 2004

Who - Why - What & How ?

There are so many WHYs in our lives that are left unanswered......

Luck winning the chance or chance winning the oppurtunity or oppurtunity winning the possibility ????

Why is it you feel good one day and bad the next for no apparent reason?
Is it just luck or chance that makes things go well today and badly tomorrow?
why is it that there is a constant feeling that we have uncontrollable mood swings?
Life may have its ups and downs, but life does not have to be an uncontrollable roller coaster!
It's such a relief to not feel like I'm on a constant roller coaster, happy
one moment and completely desperate in another and its the otherway round most of the times.
And i think i wud get bored feeling 'up'& or feeling 'down' most of the time.
Believe me, having fun is --- it's much more fun than riding a roller
coaster that's out of control!

however u can always find out what - and who - is causing things to go wrong in your life. Conditions in ur life either improve or get worse. They don't stay the same.
A worsening condition in any area of life can bring u down and send ur whole
life towards failure. Have u ever known someone who seems to be doing great at work,
but their inability to have a sane relationship takes its toll not only on their personal ,
but also on their public life? Some great Legends...who've seen the glory of sucess...may spot this is an all-too-common situation these days, as an otherwise very
capable person can be brought to the point of utter despair over their inability
to handle some area of their life. but i donot agree with this point,cos u speak philosophy only after reaching a defined its easy to say things from the ends of luxury to a man whos dwindling in the huge admonishing shadows of strife..poverty...depression...& failure.
It can be a source of tremendous frustration and upset to a person, and can factually take up a lot of his or her attention blended with keen concentration to over come all these so called practical impossibilities according to them.

Too many people lead unhappy lives due to their inability to deal with others.While they understand the importance of having successful relationships, they aren't able to do so.
from a scientic report it is noted that.......

"Depression results from abnormal functioning of the brain. The causes of depression are currently a matter of intense research. An interaction between genetic predisposition and life history appear to determine a person's level of risk. Episodes of depression may then be triggered by stress, difficult life events, side effects of medications, or other environmental factors."

but according to me..definition of depression would be --- A state of sadness!

Depression is more than just feeling sad and can be very difficult to work through.
It feels very out of control sometimes and although there are ways to feel better,
it is often very difficult to see those options from the bottom of a “dark pit.”

The real cause of depression is not where we are, but our attitude about where we find ourselves.
It is possible to learn to live on the other side of ur feelings. We will always have feelings,
they will never go away, but we can make our feelings line up with our decisions. That's why God gives
us the fruit of self-control.....he he which i dunno where i have placed ...with my raging temper
being triggered at times to a great extent that the shot of bullet streaming out isnt that easy to be
stopped...forgot or overcome.

Does happiness depend on everything in your life being just right?
If u think u can't be happy until all ur circumstances are right, u will never be happy.
We all experience times in life when we feel down for various reasons, but we can't allow our circumstances
to control our emotions. Satan seeks to fill our minds with negative thoughts and emotions that cause us to
feel down. He is a discourager, and he pulls us down emotionally, spiritually, financially, and in every way he can.
How u feel affects how u think and how u act and vice versa.

When u are depressed u tend to see things negatively, u get frustrated and angry easily.
When u feel better u may find that ur anger decreases and u are able to tolerate more from others.
It is difficult to directly change how u feel. It is easier to attack those feelings indirectly by changing
how u think and how u act.
When you feel depressed u tend to start avoiding doing activities and seeing ppl that u would normally
find enjoyable because u “just don’t feel like it.” However, that is the worst thing to do because the end
result will be that u feel even worse.
Another common action when u r depressed is to become quickly frustrated and to get angry easily,
and frequently at the people who r important to U or ppl who r are trying to help..

Identifying counterproductive habits or thoughts you would like to discontinue and then discarding them instantly is the very first step.
Being mentally or emotionally rigid means that you hang on to habits that no longer serve you, habits that can make you unproductive, frustrated, unfulfilled.
Few illustrations of counterproductive habits that may reduce your will to persevere:
Grousing about work or the neighbors with friendsBlowing small aggravations out of proportionDwelling in the pastWorrying about stuff that may not even happen, or that you cannot controlViewing yourself as a victimWorrying about what others are doing or what others have.

Try to be yourself and try to Focus on what you can do, not what you cannot do. When you focus on what you cannot do, you get more of it!
Keep YOUR pace. It's different from the pace of others. and don't feel guilty about moving ahead of some of your contemporaries. Live the life YOU want to live; earn what YOU want to earn; do what YOU want to do. Don't be too concerned about how others are living their lives.

As a person, I would actually say
there are no specifications really,as people come in all sizes and shapes,
and its the whole package that counts….like someone who is a Fortune 500 exec could be great in making money, but that’s not what your going to live with… you do need to be a mentor in understanding human minds at its varied projections!

After all its emotions and feelings that plays the actual role of life…
How do u differentiate 1 person from another ..obviously apart from man and woman…..cos everyone’s got 2 eyes 2 hands 2 legs and so on…but what distinguishes them is what they are to u….the intimacy that ur showered with…the feelings & emotions wud never fail…I remember this story which disturbed me a lot….
A story of a dad & son….
Dad says to son: I was deprived of what I dreamt for…cos of poverty…I wudnt let tht happen to u my dear son so… son I want u to become a doctor..
Son says to dad:ok dad will do that…
Dad says to son: don’t get urself into any bad habits cos u might distracted and fail to achieve my dream see u as a doctor
Son says: ok dad I wont get distracted.
One fine day son becomes a good doctor..
Dad says :dear son,u made my dream come true… be bold to ask me whatever u want !
Son says: Dad I want u to Build a clinic for me
Dad says:ok son & gets it done for his son.
Son says to dad: ok dad get me a new suit now &
Dad gets him one..
Son says get me a new car & dad gets him one
Son says get me a house & dad gets him one
Son says get me married off to my gf and dad obliges..
Finally, son says I don’t need u anymore get urself a place at an old age home..
Dad says but son what ur today is cos of me…
Son says: I know dad…but this is not where I didn’t want to be…but u pushed me into it …did u ever care to ask me wat my dream was ?? did u ever stopped to ask me whether I liked to become a doctor or not ?? did u ever know that ur dreams cannot be same as mine ??
Dad becomes speech less for a while and says…but son,I was a poor young man at ur age and I wanted to be a doctor cos its one profession where u make lots of money….don’t u have a heart ? its me…ur dad who’s the reason for what u r today my son !
Son says: but dad…when did I ever say becoming a rich man is my DREAM ?
U were a money minded maniac all ur life…and u pushed me into it…u never taught me what love is…what caring and sharing is…what emotions and feelings are…u know what I have as definition for a dad – Money Minded Maniac or (Materialistic, Money minded, Manipulative)

Where as it should actually be the other triple MMM
M – Magnificent
M – Maestro
M – Meticulous
This is something one should always think about…give room to others thoughts & feelings too…before u forcibly push in ur expectations in them !Its all about ur attitude once again apart from all ur hardships & tough times that u went thru’ and don’t want the same to happen to ur future generation!

The longer u live, the more u realize the impact of attitude on life. Actually Speaking, attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstance, than failure, than success, than what other people think or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It can make or break a great company, a good relationship, a happy home. The remarkable thing is you have a choice every day regarding the attitude you will embrace & follow for that day. We cannot change our past; we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude.

“ I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you. You are in charge of your attitudes”. -author unknown

"A true handicap is what we don't do with what we have, not what we can't do with what we don't have." - Christopher H. Brewer

"Do not think that love in order to be genuine has to be extraordinary. What we need is to love without getting tired. Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies." - Mother Teresa

Great people…… With great attitudes…A few above are the best suited examples..