Monday, May 18, 2009

Recession Hits?

Scene A:
I drive my car in to the parking lot of the office and see that most of it is already occupied, when I was about to take a reverse gear and head to Parking Zone B to park my vehicle there, I find the security guard rushing over to tell me,
“Sir, yours is only an Alto, there’s a 6 and a half feet gap at the end of this aisle, your car will need only 6 feet Sir.. hehe…so you can park it there araamse…plus from today on, the Parking Zone B is only for big cars like BMW, Audi, Sonata, Benz…”.
I was shocked and taken aback at this discrimination and decided to bring my two-wheeler from the next day on…
Is this one of those unexpected outcomes of recession?

Scene B:
I enter the rest room this morning, to my surprise was taken aback with the way the loo was highly down-at-heel and unkempt. I muster my guts and proceed further to open the first tap…. “No Water” …..move on… open the second one…. “No Water”…..move on once again to open the third one.. “No water”…..frustrated…I try the last one… “Swhsssssssssssssssssssssswwkkkkkk” …..A splash of turbid reddish-brown water sprays hard on the basin leaving its remains on my face and on my formal shirt. I curse the idea of washing my face first thing in the morning after entering office and step-out dejectedly.
Is this one of those unexpected outcomes of recession?

Scene C:
I swipe-in and come inside my bay…. It’s entirely dark at 9.30am in the morning. I can hear the ‘tik-tak-tik’ of the keyboard strokes though… I stare hard to see a couple of employees already working in the darkest corners of the bay without even bothering to have the lights on. A little annoyed, I walk-up to the switchboard and flip the lights on, couple of them go – ‘blink-blink-blink’ but fail to rest, one of the employees (without lifting his head from the screen that he was lifelessly staring into) says “It’s better to work without them instead of that non-stop flickering bothering your eyes while you are working, they haven’t mended this for quite sometime now….” Shocked…I turn the lights off and walk back to my desk.
Is this one of those unexpected outcomes of recession?

Scene D:
Later in the day, I get a call from Credit-Card female-rep asking me to apply for a Gold Credit Card. I agree and ask for terms and conditions, she says, “5 months of salary slip, proof of possession of two-wheeler and four wheeler, proof of possession of a own house, copy of an existing Credit Card from the different bank that I hold, Govt. of India recognized TWO photo identity proofs (either driving license & Passport, voter id and Passport, or Pan card and Passport)… if you don’t have a passport then, we may need to check if you are eligible for getting a Credit Card or not.” I was shocked and ask her why so many document proofs are required & she says, “Yes Sir, the rules are changed now as Global Market is down its not very easy to know who’s still working (especially in the IT Sector) and who is not….Please provide all the needful Sir, when my rep meets you tomorrow sharp at 2pm, if you don’t have any documents then please be informed that we would reject your processing.” And I hear a “Beep….Beep…Beep” at the other end of the phone line before I am even done reeling from the shock.
Is this one of those unexpected outcomes of recession?

Scene E:-
As my office is in the 7th floor of the building, elevator becomes mandatory for many people like me. Like all other days, I finished my work and stepped into the elevator and pressed the “0” button. After stuffing the books that I had take from library, into my backpack, which could have taken about 3-4mins time, I looked to see the floor indicator on the elevator still standing at the 7th floor. Shocked, I pressed the “0” button couple more times – Stand-Still! Nothing happens…..Panicked I step out of the elevator only to see a sign-board written in a very small font and hanging at the far-end of the elevator doors, that read :
“Elevators will not be available after 5pm and before 8am, Please use steps, as we are facilitating fitness for associates by going Green during the off hours of work and also ensuring comfort for associates to reach their desk quickly during the working hours!”
Is this one of those unexpected outcomes of recession?

Scene F:-
In the evening, I go to a restaurant, for having my dinner and place my order for a “Masala Dosa”. The Sambar is overburnt and the chutney has a foul smell and the Dosa is undercooked. I call the waiter and ask him to check the stuff he had got me. Without taking a second look at the Dosa he replies “Sir, its 10pm in the night and for 35rs these days what more do you expect? If you don’t like it; you can pay and leave as you have already been billed for this item”. I was speechless, to satiate the growling stomach and lack of cash in the wallet, to try out elsewhere, I bit into the bitter taste that had formed in my mouth and chewed-on the so called “Masala Dosa”.
Is this one of those unexpected outcomes of recession?

Will this madness ever end?????????????? - Are you entitled to ask that question, that too with so many “?” marks?
Oh, I need a break from this!!!! - You sure? Cos, you are gonna be sacked!
Can I venture into other fields like Agriculture, Running a Garage, Real Estate, Mini Restaurant, Chaat Bhandar??? – ohhh, so you are actually filthy RICH…. then what on earth made you to be an IT Professional?

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