Staying Alive!

“The harder you desire the farther it seems to grow away from you.” And that exactly is the most superficial and colossal guise life takes to keep you going at endlessly….GENIUS!

You don't have to be a perfectionist all your life....if you are a mediocre planner trying to pull things through on time whenever and wherever, that should let you sail through decently if not exceptionally -- One of the very FEW things that make me believe there’s a bigger brain sitting out there crafting all this in his own sweet pattern! His work is more than the most complex mainframes computer invented on this earth!

And the way he gambles with it is much more challenging and incredibly intriguing than any of those slot machines that is jabbed by frenzied people at the Casinos' world over.

On those awful-bitter days, despondency settles upon you like vestibules of white fog covering your mind as if it’s a dark warm blanket you've been desperately waiting to crawl into, on a cold night. 

In a trice, everything seems doomed to failure, you wonder if you will ever while away the time with your friends again, you wonder if you will ever partake in that alien concept known as a social life. You chafe at the notion of a single rational thought, of the will to just pick up that God forbidden cellphone and call your mother, of the simplicity of dressing nice, of the effortless intricacies involved in just brightening up a little by washing your dull & dreary face, you wonder at your ghastly inability to do the things you used to do and take for granted.

You feel the parasite within you getting stronger as the awful gnawing beast refuses to go away. Suddenly you feel dreadfully alone. But paradoxically, you tremble at the thought of social gatherings and any form of interaction with other human beings, and you start avoiding them like an affliction. You retreat even further into yourself and feel the miasma of loneliness strangle your senses. 

This obnoxious feeling clutches your gut so hard like an effluvia from putrescent organic matter left lying in open for ages en-route to your destination.

You realize that you have created a vicious cycle of avoidance and paralyzing seclusion. You realize that you are fast disappearing, disappearing into a twilight zone of your own creation, with no possible exit looming vaguely in the distance.

It has to come to an end one day. I think you just need to shackle out of it all and calm the beast inside you with a blow so hard that it curls-up in a nook and never dares to come-out again into action. Also, do make sure to seal that savage-nook that influences your weaknesses and lack of rigidness pushing you hard every time into this eternal door of sacrilege.

I am kicking hard with my 80+ kgs of weight to stay alive! :-)