The only dismal thing that can match remotely to learning “Garbage Disposal Techniques” are my office gossips. Now - I do know it very well don’t I? What with my notion of perfecting in the art of story telling, I am always super-keen to yarn the incidents with a little nuance of austerity and loads of subtle sarcasm as some might call it.
Well yes, for those that are alcoholics of work and those that aren’t, office is an inevitable part where maximum of their active time is being spent on work or on other things – they get to choose!
By far, in the closely knit clan of veteran software professionals, most of their life’s interesting incidents, both pleasant and unpleasant seem to happen during their office hours.
In a cubicle of 6, more than 3 are either in love or about to get married or already married after going through the saga of “I came, I saw, and I conquered the love!”
And for the rest of the 2 or 3 that are no more than bottled specimens labeled as “Chemically Ineffective”, have nothing interesting in life to do, as neither could they fall in love with someone apart from themselves nor could they stop themselves from brooding over or bickering about their (happy) counterparts.
Eight hours of work demands 3 coffee breaks and one lunch break, at least for the beginners… !
And these are probably the most monumental time at work where in gossips across Accounts/Projects/Cities/States/Continents are being discussed.
“Hey, wow your turquoise blue beads necklace is looking amazing on you!”
“Wow, what a vivacious olive green nail paint color Revlon has launched yesterday…. did you get a chance to see that new commercial ad on the TV?”
“Oh boy, did you check-out Harry’s new Tuxedo in last evening’s episode? Wasn’t he looking stunning?”
“BTW, Lisa dumped that Wild-Life Photographer boy friend of hers and is into this young businessman that visits her place often during the evenings…. Hmmm… I just happened to peep outside my window and he was there at her doorstep loaded with big gifts and flowers. Boy, he’s quite something…..no wonder she’s laid her eyes on him!”
“Tina got married to Arijeet last weekend, neither of their families are aware of this and you know what????? She is been put-up at Arijeet’s place even before they were married…that’s something her parents should not be…………..”
And………Kweek kweek kweek kweeek kweeek …screeching away like an audio tape that lets out a sound when fast forwarded….
Well, obviously there are these moderately handsome guys who almost always make sure to pass-by these chemically-ineffective creatures aisle, just to ensure that they’re being checked-out for at least a half-a-dozen times on an average in a day, which gives them a perverse kick to derive an evil pleasure out of and subsequently bloat about an inch or two with the pumped-up ego!
Couple of such days, and then these chemically ineffective creatures struggle hard to concentrate on their work, but end-up failing at it miserably almost always………
Pantries are entries for budding love…
You get into this pantry trying to get a mug of coffee for yourself but
not-so-accidentally bump into this smart guy who’s trying to get his drink too and then happens the introduction scenes, followed by periodic coffee breaks as a port for checking the guy out (or Vice versa) and then getting to know each other….and then dating each other… and then the seeing each other…and then the commitment mode…which then strangely and viciously transpires in to the getting married to each other mode or at least one step closer to it!
Similarly, Lunch hours are the times for these software buddies in unlocking the zip-locs, which result in the eye-locks; from there on progress further to lip-locks and eventually turn them into bed-locks….which may or may not end-up as
And there are these Classical Office Romances, that which are truly geeky in every way…
Endlessly tapping away on the keyboard, and staring hard to blindness into the monitor, to give out the best deliverables and staying over the night for completing such tasks, for which obviously a company is more important than food. And a subtle relationship blooms there, sprouting from a sweet admiration at each other’s dedication towards work and moves further on to the next stage…. Man, this cant really be avoided…...No wait, if that ever happens that would only make them retarded or stuck in a time warp and or clueless, or all three together, welcoming them as a highly dignified golden member of “The Club of Insane Genre”.
Every relationship that a man and woman shares, are bound have some unwritten yet mandatory rules. If you fall for someone who’s extremely far better qualified and high in designation, your chances are abysmally low with that person for he/she would always look for someone who’s at the very least on the same levels with him/her.
And then there are these snobbish, high-hat crowds that don’t gel well with the redneck bigots who are usually of the mass lot unlike these class lots....its so much fun watch them both grimace at each other for obviously same reasons with an opposite effect though!
Office is indeed a colorful place to begin your life or rather look out for beginning your life, if I must put it right!